Juicy and Bloomingdales "reinvention" FAIL

Even though my beloved Olsens stopped wearing them over ten years ago, and laugh and laugh and laugh about the idea of it now—I have still have a pile of Juicy Couture zip-up hoodies in my closet that I am not giving up anytime soon.

Velour, terry, cotton knit, waffle knit, cashmere, fur lined, and in every color of the rainbow; pink, blue, green, pink, gray, camouflage, cream, pink, black, pink, white, pink—over the past decade I’ve garnered quite the collection and still find them to be the perfect outfit topper for many an occasion, despite what the Olsens might think.

Obviously driven by the goal to “SELL MORE HOODIES!!!” Bloomingdales and Juicy are currently staging a campaign trying to show you ideas on how to “reinvent” the idea of wearing a Juicy hoodie. For real. They’re calling it, “the new way to wear Juicy Couture!” I feel like, if it ain’t broke, (and how can throwing on a sweatshirt ever be broken?) wtf are you doing?

While I had no intention of buying anything (I was mildly open-minded though, Juicy has pleasantly surprised me many, many times in the past) I clicked away, viewing all the “new” looks, curious as to how the heck you can wear the hoodie in a new way. I was so hopeful that I would be inspired by something I saw, and be exposed to new styling options for the collection of hoodies I already own… I always love and appreciate inspiration on how to recycle the stuff I already have into new and interesting things.

Expecting urban, subversive and inspiring looks (maybe how to wear a hoodie like a diaper, in a cool way? Or, velour turbans? Studded, jeweled hoodies? Liquid leather hoodies and matching leggings?!) what I instead got was this look: 12 year old tomboy forced to dress up for synagogue.


Yawn. Pairing a zip-up with a skirt is their awesome new styling idea? Um, SO not impressed…

Not wanting to judge too quickly, I frowned and continued clicking through every outfit shown. As I studied the plethora of pictures depicting the alleged *super-cool, new 2009* ways to wear Juicy hoodies, all I could think was—do Pam and Gela know about this?? Do they?? Really?? Who was the eff was the stylist for this?? For a boundary pushing clothing company (I know, I know, seems weird to define the bubblegum trappings of Juicy Couture as “boundary pushing,” but they really are the ones who started making leisure-wear acceptable and attractive enough to wear everyday. Without them, Soffee shorts and old sorority t-shirts’s might still reign supreme for casual weekend attire... ugh.) this was so common-place, and...boring?

My gut tells me that Pam and Gela know naught of this lame sales attempt, and the whole thing is probably masterminded by Bloomingdales. (Also weird though, Bloomingdales usually gets so much right?)

But I mean, really. Jeans a sweatshirt?? What a novel concept. (Open-toed booties do not make this outfit "new.")

Juicy sweats and doc martens? Good god I hate this:


This one is ok.... but even still—kind of on the boring/generic side from two companies that are usually dictating the hottest of hot new trends. AND, not 100% sure why this outfit was even shown, because unless the sweater is gray terry cloth, or the leggings are black velour, this outfit doesn't even feature any components of the classic Juicy tracksuit?

This is the only one that gave me moment to pause, because while not amazing-- it still introduced to me the idea of wearing a tracksuit with heels. Like, if this girl was confident enough, this is an outfit she could wear out to a happy hour-- and I'm not sure there are many other ways to make tracksuits bar appropriate?

While disappointed in Juicy/Bloomies execution of project "how to reinvent wearing Juicy hoodies," I'd like to leave on a happy Juicy thought: starting on the day after Thanksgiving, last year Juicy offered a promotion where if you brought in old Juicy clothes (which they would give to those less fortunate) you would receive a discount on your purchase. That is smart marketing, doing something good for the world, while encouraging sales. I'm sure at least that tactic was P&G approved.

Fur Hag Aspirations

Those close to me know, and even tease me about, my love of all things Olsen twin related. Whenever they come across an article or picture of them, they thoughtfully pass it along to me so as to make sure I hear about all Olsen going-ons.

On one hand, I really appreciate it.

On the other hand, it's really annoying when day after day, my delicate senses have to be offended with idiocies such as "Mary Kate And Ashley Olsen Branded Fur Hags From Hell."
It seems that PETA has targeted them to be the poster-children for NOT wearing fur, because, well-- they wear a lot of fur, fabulously.

Those assault-loving PETA idiots went as far as to deface their star on the Hollywood walk of fame. I can only wonder why they didn't go for the added insult of also throwing flour this time? Why so hurtful, PETA?

"The twins - who have been nicknamed 'Hairy Kate' and 'Trashley Olsen' - turned up for a signing of their new book Influence at Barnes & Noble in New York to be greeted by a herd of campaigners wearing Trollsen Twins masks and carrying signs calling them 'fur hags.' "

I don't care what the PETA mASSES decree, MK and Ashley always look beautiful. (Despite occasionally being markedly displeased.)

Unsurprisingly, as no one is safe from his acidic opinion, Perez Hilton is also guilty of nasty Olsen remarks when he sees either one in fur. A recent post of his went something (exactly) like this:

"Aww. She dressed up as an Ewok!


On Thursday, Mary-Kate Olsen gave PETA and other animal rights activists across the world another one-fingered salute. She hit the Belvedere IX party in NY in some sort of animal fur.
What's the animal you're wearing, MK Troll?
Any guesses?
We bet she had a big steak dinner later that night to top things off."

For serious-- aren’t there enough legitimately bad things going on in the world today for these lunatics to spend their time, energy, and media coverage on??


I feel like through all of their antics PETA is unintentionally doing to “fur hag” what Will & Grace did for “fag hag;” it's going to become a label that people strive for, aspire to be called, and want to be.

You have to give MK and Ashley credit though, as they are pretty young in the scheme of things, and you can just tell that they could give a rat (or mink’s) ass about what PETA thinks, and they just keep on keepin' the fur on.

Survey Salvation

The subject matter for the article I have been working on these past 2 days is stuck in my brain like dog poop on the bottom of your favorite shoe.

I'm desperate to get it out, and I'm going to- someway or another- but it's proving to be a long, stinking process. Unfortunately, the last place I got a big chunk of it out was at the office today.

Perfect segue to other things that are shitty...

My office, which is sadly the complete opposite of the appropriate lush, green, sunshiney lawn, houses a computer to which I am almost conjoined with. My computer happens to have the latest version of Windows. Along with this comes the newest versions of Word, Excel, and all the rest of the Window's usual players.

This wouldn't be a bad thing except for the fact that now, the previously automatic motion of "saving" something has to be thought about. Every file I touch with this version of Windows, has to be saved "down" in order to be compatible with earlier versions of Word, Excel, etc.

I really thought I'd gotten pretty much into the habit of doing this, too. Until tonight, when I went to open up the most recent draft of Article Impossible that I'd hastily emailed to myself as the clock drew closer to 5pm, only to realize I hadn't "save it down," and therefore cannot access, nor finish it, until at least until Monday!

Shittt!

Since I found myself suddenly sitting at the computer, with no clear purpose in sight, I decided to drown my misery with some Internet libations. It's a slippery slope, for sure, but luckily I first went to one of my favorite Internet haunts. Imagine my delight when after reading her latest post, I saw that she had mentioned me! And not only had the illustrious KTS mentioned me, she'd called me out, kind of, to fill out some Blogger survey!

Not only was it such a compliment that she thought of me, but alas, she solved my dilemma du jour- now I have something to write about! God, she's good.

♥What were you doing 10 years ago?

Hmm, 10 years ago, I was 17, and school would have just gotten out...

At that time, I was also very "green," but in the sense that I was so innocent and naive. I wasn't drinking, drugging, or even talking to boys, and the only writing I was doing was in my diary. (If it weren't for the horomone fueled attitude, I would have made for the parent's most wanted kind of teenager.)

The high-light of the summer was undoubtedly spending lots of time at the beach, in my beloved Newport, Rhode Island. Boring, but perfect. Wish that's how I was still spending my summers.

♥5 Items on Your To-Do List Today:

Ugh, the bane of my existence- never enough time to get done everything done I want to get done!

I do love lists though, fluid records of your random mental meanderings and the courses of action they produce. Also, at the end of the day they help reinforce all the things you did make the time to do, so you don't feel like such a loser.

Today's version would look something like this:

1. Finish post from yesterday. (We already know this one's not getting crossed off...)


2. Read as much as possible of this month's Book Club selection. (Don't get me wrong, the 650 paged monster "The Historian" is really good, and I am enjoying reading it, it's just one of those books that takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r to read.)
   
3. Go for a run. (This one is joining the ranks of #1)


4. Burn a CD of the iTunes playlist I have been compiling since May 19. (Yay! Did this!)


5. Be in bed by 10pm. (Outcome: to be determined.)
   

In summation of today's tasks: accomplised at least one out of 5. Could always be worse.

♥Snacks I Enjoy

My ADD makes itself known in strange ways. For instance, it is impossible for me to eat just one thing at a time- I need to have lots of options to put in my mouth (thatswhatshesaid) at any given moment, for any given occasion, and hence- am the #1 fan of mixes.

If you were to examine the contents of my handbag at random, you would find at least one homemade mix concoction sealed in a used, but trusty, Ziploc bag. Usually it's a bunch of cereals mixed with dried fruits and nuts, but depending on my mood, (and the time of month,) it might be a bag of salty goodness- Doritos, Chex Mix, and Smartfood mixed together, or candy from a spree at the local Sweet Tooth. (Love when the sugar from the Sour Patch Kids and Gummy Peaches gets all over the Swedish Fish and Gummy Bears! And red Sour Patch Kids eaten with Swedish Fish is the most delectable combination ever.)

The one ingredient that can be added to any/all of my mixes to make them that much better- to eat them in bed!

♥What would you do if you were a billionaire?

I was actually asked this question once on a job interview, but with much more ado, as the guy interviewing me loved, no, more like was obsessed, with the sound of his own voice- and so with preamble included, it probably took him about 10 minutes to get out that same 8 word question.

At the time, I had no idea, and so I stammered out some uninspiring bit about wanting to retire both of my parents, put money away for my little brother and sister's college educations, and probably a few other mundane things I can't even remember at this point.

Now- if posed that same question, I wouldn't even know where to start.

I want a magazine- similar to my blog, but larger in scale, with all varying sorts of contributors. (I already know what kind of paper it would be printed on, all the way to what kind of perfume samples would be permissible to include within.)

I want the coolest, most environmentally chic office imagineable to house my magazine. (Can just imagine the sound of the stilettos hurriedly clicking away on the salvaged hard-wood floors.)

Connected to the offices would be a restaurant, and a store- both environmentally minded, but beautiful. The store would sell the items discussed in the magazine, and then some, and the restaurant would offer amazing, healthy food in a really unique atmosphere. (Already have menu formats and seating arrangements in mind- but sorry KTS, don't know that Quizzo fits this vision.)

The entire operation would be inviting for all people to come and see, and would serve as encouragement that being "green" isn't just a fad, or topic for a blog, but a lifestyle.

I want a Kelly Green empire.

And also to retire my parents, and pay for my little siblings' education.

♥Places I Would Live:

Anywhere near the ocean, preferably near my parents.

Copying KTS's precedent of "Places I want to visit"; Hawaii, Disney World, Venice (Italy, not California), Vienna (Austria, not Virginia), L.A. (for some hopeful Sarah Michelle Gellar or Olsen sightings), and inspired by "The Historian"; Greece, Istanbul, Romania, and Bulgaria.

♥Bloggers I Pass This Challenge On To:

Does the buck stop here?

The only blogger I personaly know- sent me this. Does MySpace or Facebook count?

I'm going to make the executive decision of yes- not just for convenience's sake, but because when I was looking into ways of educating myself on the creation/design/maintainance of a Blog, MySpace was always included.

By the transitive property, (probably the only thing I remember from Geometry proofs) MySpace and Facebook are basically the same, so if a rule applies to MySpace it applies to Facebook too. Which is perfect, because I know a laundry list of characters on Facebook, and the baton is being confidently passed to my sister Rachel, who is OBSESSED with all things Facebook, and all things list related. (Which, if you're one of her registered 425 Facebook friends, you already know.)

She is currently in Vegas for the next 10 days, being housed by her friends the professional poker players, however when she comes back will surely rock this survey out like a Rehab Sunday. (Hopefully there is no stigma attached to this survey, like, if I don't have someone else fill it out within 48 hours I'll never find true love, or something? That would suck. And then I wouldn't be as grateful to KTS.)

More later- I promise!

*For more info about KTS, a link to her site is listed at the foot of my blog, "Based on Real Life."

The Look for Least: Tear and Wear

This all started out innocently enough, as my way to never, ever again have to worry about what to wear. It was only after the fact, when I’d had some time to think about it, that I realized in the process I was also helping get some extra mileage out of my magazines; therefore helping me rationalize their existence and expense.

I love clothes, and most of the time, I love getting dressed. But then, there are those days where no matter what I do, I just cannot put together an outfit for the life of me.
I’ll think I want to wear one particular item, and then wrack my brains and my wardrobe rack trying to put together the right pieces to make "it" work. But then the shirt doesn’t look right. Or the shoes are too high for the pants. Or I just can’t decide which accessories complete the look I’m going for. In the end, I was always late for wherever I was going, while leaving a trail of destruction in my wake with the carnage of shirts, pants, sweaters, etc, strewn willy nilly around my room. And- I usually didn’t even like what I end up wearing when this happened.

In my earlier days, my main method of combat against dressin' stress was to try and map out what I was going to wear the night before. While lying in bed, I would mentally flip through the hangers in my closet and dress myself up like a paper doll. However, this did not always work, as sometimes the outfits looked better on my mental paper doll than they did on me, sometimes I’d fall asleep before the outfit selection was complete, and sometimes I’d just wake up and have completely forgotten that day’s scheduled ensemble. Therefore, even planning ahead the night before did not always provide a sure-fire fix to the problem.


Enter my friends Lucky, Cosmo, Cosmo Girl*, US Weekly, In Style, Glamour, Vogue, and Allure. You know, the whole gang. All have very different perspectives, for sure, but they all can be counted on as trust-worthy sources of constant fashion inspiration. Fortunately for me, and for them, I have found a way to make their best ideas immortal.

While spending time visiting these “friends,” if I find myself looking at something for more then a couple seconds, I rip it out.

When I see pictures of Cameron rocking especially inspiring outfits, the revered Olsen’s doing their thing, or Lucky happens to feature a spread I can’t take my eyes off of, I tear those pages out with wild abandon and file them away in plastic sleeves kept safe in my ever-growing “Inspiration Finder” Binder.

At this point in my Binder’s development, no matter what the event, I KNOW I can always open up my trusty binder and flip through the well-appointed outfits until I see the perfect one for the occasion. With the end goal set, it then just becomes a matter of recreating the recipe as closely as possible with the ingredients I already have. Ever seen the “Look for Less” on the Style channel? This is like the “Look for Least,” as not one cent needs to be spent to recreate the desired look. I just follow the template du jour; pairing my black pencil jeans and slouchy white v-neck tee with a thick, hip-hugging belt, fierce black pumps, black bag, colorful scarf, TONS of attitude, and I’m good to go! Ashley Olsen can have her $5,000 Hermes Birkin- she has earned it- all I need is a picture of her with it, and I can turn around and create the same exact look for free. Thanks Ash! ♥

Even though I dutifully recycle all of my magazines when I’m finished reading them, I still feel bad dropping those heavy stacks monthly into the Recycling bin- all that paper, for one use. By ripping out the information I find valuable, it makes me feel like the magazine’s existence was a little more justified, and a little more worthwhile, as it is leaving behind something tangible long after it’s been read. Instead of keeping around the whole magazine for future reference, and being bogged down with housing the 144 magazines I come across yearly, I cherry pick and take/keep the best of each. My easy binder system makes the information quickly accessible when I want it, and versatile enough to be updated, edited, and reorganized whenever the mood strikes.

Ripping out and filing magazine pages here and there is not a drastic environmental change. However, every little bit counts, and this way you are keeping some of those pages out of the garbage, and contributing to a better looking future in more way than one.

Note: My binder is a big one. With the addition of a pack of labeled dividers, I have also started ripping out other inspirational and interesting bits beyond fashion. My binder now consists of recipes, interior decorating ideas, fitness plans, great articles, etc. If it is something that is interesting to you- tear it out and keep it!

*Hey, I’m not embarrassed to admit my inner tween tendencies. I even still read Seventeen, too! Apart from the coveted boy advice Miley has to share, it’s hard to give up those super embarrassing, four star “and everyone called me Period Stain Pants for the rest of the year” stories.