Organic candy shampoo for dirty dogs

Racing home from an exhausting day at work, only to find that my puppy peed and/or pooped in her crate and then played it in all day long, is not fun. (My nose usually updates me before my eyes do.) Picking up her smelly self and throwing her in the tub is a far cry from my previous after work duties of going to happy-hours and sipping cocktails. (Safe to say I severely underestimated the work required for a puppy.)

Getting my fingers all up in her hair, and sudsing the matted poop off her is pretty gross. Thank god my roommate is never around during these moments to see how quickly the white porcelain tub turns brown…. However, although I can never claim to like doing this, I do have to admit that the shampoo I selected for her smells so good — like candy— that the situation is sweetened a bit. I know its gross to admit this, but the shampoo actually smells so good that it makes me hungry and causes my mouth to water a little bit, despite my disgusting task at hand (and literally, in hand). The added plus to using this shampoo is, once she’s clean and running around like a mad-woman trying to dry herself off, her crazed antics make her a veritable moving air freshener—and the gesture is certainly appreciated as I undertake my next task of scraping and sanitizing the excrement out of her crate…

My puppy shampoo by Earthbath is made out of all natural ingredients, (the company promises that nothing bad whatsoever, for anything, is in the formula), its tear free and gentle, will not wash away any topical flea treatments, was manufactured in the USA, and is satisfaction guaranteed: if you couldn’t tell by now, I really think this is the way to go. (Comes in a variety of formulas, I’m currently hooked on the cherry scented “puppy” version. Wonder if I can even use it on myself??) The product is sold at your local PetSmart, but also is available through multiple online vendors.

Sorry for the brown streak of articles—“they” always say to write what you know, and right now, I’m majorly down with the brown. Until they come up with a safe/environmentally friendly way to do this:


you can look forward to upcoming articles such as “The many green uses for puppy pee-pads,” and “Organic dingleberry recipes”.

Biodegradable doggy doody bags

I learned about cleaning up dog poo the hard way…

In preparation for an imminently arriving puppy, I began taking my mom’s spoiled rotten, house dogs out on walks. Terribly out of shape, and ornery at having their nap schedule interrupted, they were hard at first to get under control.

Once they settled down enough to take notice of the new smells and sights around them however, their inner canine natures took over and their tails started wagging as they both wore matching open-mouthed, tongue-lolling doggy grins. As they pranced along, nature again took its course, and they both intermittently relieved themselves. Prepared with an empty plastic shopping bag (at least the evil plastic bag was going to get some re-use), I picked up their still-warm feces with a grimace. Since my parents live in a woody, posh neighborhood, there are no street or community trashcans out and about. I held onto the bag of poo for the remainder of the walk, and since there was really no other choice—threw the bag into the garbage cans in the garage.

This happened on a Monday. Trash is collected on Friday. The following 4 days seemed like the hottest of the summer. That bag of poo sat in the garbage can, baking, for four days. Every time the garage door was opened, a warm burst of sewer assaulted our nostrils, and the odor was maliciously infiltrating the house through the garage door that connects to the laundry room, and into the cars that were innocently parked inside the garage. My parents didn’t know about the poop, and blamed the smell on chicken bones… afraid for the reaction my admission would create, I kept silent but deep-down felt as bad as the garage smelled. (Sorry Mom.)

Although I felt horribly guilty about using biological warfare against my loved ones, I felt torn. What else was I supposed to do? Couldn’t leave the poop, although at the time I rationalized that would be the most logical route to go—poop is biodegradable, and would dispose of itself without creating any additional waste. A plastic shopping bag was the best container I could find at the time, and I couldn’t just leave the bag filled with poop as litter on the ground? (Feel like that would totally defeat the entire purpose of “picking up after your dog”?) In retrospect, I guess I could have dumped out the bag’s contents into the toilet, and flushed the poop away. (A bag with poop remnants would have to smell better than a bag filled to capacity?) My poor family and I dealt with the results of my poopy decision for an entire week, and I learned my lesson: use bags that are meant for doggy doody duty, with green bonus points for using biodegradable versions.

After just doing some cursory research, I found a whole slew of reasons why dog poop is actually bad for the environment (who knew??) which makes it more comprehensible why cleaning it up is so imperative as to have been made a law. For instance, I think smelling dog poop is bad enough—the idea of drinking it is absolutely revolting. And yet, apparently this is happening as 20-30% of all pollutants in waterways are attributed to dog waste. Overall, it is believed dog waste is third or fourth on the list of contributors to bacteria in contaminated waters due to rainwater run-off, dogs pooping near watersheds and beaches. Ewww! (It is estimated that dog owners do not collect over 4 million tons of dog waste annually.)


If the poop has to be cleaned up (and it does,) plastic bags are a bad choice, as “plastics are the fourth highest generated waste in the U.S., originate from petroleum which is non-renewable, do not biodegrade, and take thousands of years to break down.”


Taking all of this into consideration, obviously biodegradable poopy bags are the way to go (added incentive—they even have cute little dispensers to make these look like a cute dog-walking accessory! Isn't it so cute-- the bag looks like poop coming out of the dog's behind! My goodness!) My fact source, the eloquently, subtly named PoopBags.com, explains why biodegradable bags (coincidentally, theirs in particular) are the way to go: if the bags are ASTM D6400 certified, it means the materials they use are fully tested to ensure that it will degrade at a similar rate to a freaking apple! They are made from a combination of corn and other renewable products, and biodegrade naturally when exposed to the earth’s elements and micro-organisms in the soil. Also—because of the way the bags are made, they “breathe,” which ironically makes it easier for us to do the same. The construction of the bag allows heat and moisture to escape, which reduces bacteria build-up and retards odor. (Yay!)

Since the stork has since delivered my fur baby, and I daily bear witness to how much poop comes out of such a tiny thing—this product is something I am definitely going to stock up on. Picking up poop is never going to be an enjoyable experience, but at least using biodegradable bags will make me feel like I am doing the world a good deed. (Like, 5 good deeds a day.) Since all dogs go to heaven, I hope this portends favorably for the dog's owner too?




Also, there’s a cute and inspiring background story behind PoopBags.com, and despite the current economic gloom, the American dream is alive and well. (The creator’s Vice President is Miss Cinnamon May… his dog.):

PoopBags.com! When you typed some keywords into your search engine of choice, you may have laughed when you saw the link for www.poopbags.com come up. Well, when I was walking my dog in the summer of 2003, I laughed too when I first thought about the idea...As a single guy, living in Chicago's Lincoln Park, I would always run out of the plastic grocery bags I used to pick up May's poop. As a backup, I'd use the ones from the newspaper, sandwich bags, ask my Mom to save me bags, snag some from a friend's house – it was crazy.
Then I started thinking about all these plastic bags... I looked online and started reading more and more about plastic bags in general. How they are made, how they'll never go away in my lifetime, and then I laughed to myself and said, "What if I started a company called PoopBags.com and sold biodegradable dog poop bags for a living?" Well, I challenged myself to find out.After purchasing the URL from a company in London and testing several manufacturers, with help of my Vice President of Product Testing, Miss Cinnamon May, I chose the final product that launched PoopBags.com, Inc.

Trust me, it takes awhile to get used to saying "PoopBags.com." At first, I was a bit shy in saying it as I knew the looks and reactions I would receive. Now, I look forward to it. So does the media... We've done interviews on the radio, had several articles in newspapers across the country, been featured in magazines and more. Each year we have experienced tremendous growth, but we're just getting started. The entire World is now realizing that plastic bags are simply bad for the Earth. It takes oil to make them, they sit around for over 100 years, they harm fish and wildlife, they plug drainage sewers in cities, and the list goes on.

Well, that's the story on PoopBags.com so far. We've moved from my dining room to a small warehouse, I have two employees for whom I am very grateful. So, whether you bleed Green like me, "just need some poop bags" they might as well be or you want to help a corporate guy out of those four walls, please consider a purchase from www.poopbags.com. You'll be doing the World a bit of good, one bag at a time.Thank you for your support, we truly do appreciate it.- PC-

Properly disposing evidence of eating out(side)

The other night was one those idyllic beautiful summer evenings; it was just the right amount of warm outside (not too hot or humid) with a deliciously teasing breeze that kept the bugs away while at the same time soothing our sun-kissed skin. To make the most of these advantageous circumstance, the fam decided to barbecue and eat outdoors. Some extra people were joining our usual group of seven, and while setting the pleasantly crowded table it was noted that there were not enough clean plates to set a place for everyone.

“So what?” my sister said. “Let’s just use plastic, and then we can just throw ‘em out when we’re done with ‘em, and have less clean-up.”

The eco-alarms in my brain started going off at full-intensity.

*****UNECESSARY*WASTE*ABOUT*TO*OCCUR*******

I started to say something in protest, and my sister, picking up on my obviously agitated body language, was quick to point out—“Kelly, they’ve already been purchased. We already have them. They’re going to get used at some point… might as well be tonight.”

My mother punctuated my sister’s statement with a look that said the argument, if it can even be called that, considering zero words left my mouth, was settled. (Apparently my family is really into non-verbal communication? At least they use something sparingly.)

Standing exactly where I was when I first caught wind of this convo, a mental montage of the future the plastic plates were going to face flashed behind my eyelids. Mental images of tons of pink plastic plates, with gobs of potato salad and baked beans still clinging to their shiny surfaces, getting shoved into a trash bag, which would eventually go and find its way to a landfill, and then sit decomposing for the next thousand years or so, all the while leaching toxins galore, and occupying precious landfill real-estate so that another one would have to created that much sooner… ugh.

This lead me down a slippery mental slope, because if my family –with an outspoken environmental police-officer on the premises (me!)—was guilty of going the easy and wasteful route when it came to outdoor dining, it hurt to think about how many other people were doing the exact same thing, and how much wasted waste was being created. The thought process was scaring me more than this place.

As I sat at the table and proudly ate off my china plate (only plastic for this girl is an AmEx), I sadly tried to trouble-shoot the scenario, and figure out alternative, more eco-viable solutions, before it dawned on me: there already are freaking tons of better options in place for these sorts of scenarios.

1. Paper plates. Hello Green family! *News Flash* These are probably cheaper than plastic, and won’t irk me (or Mother Nature) nearly as much due their organic origins and quicker disintegration time.

2. Reusable plastic plates. Also super cheap, and available at every retail vendor imaginable during the summer months. (Seriously, you don’t just have to go to a place that would generally sell table-ware, over the summer you can find cheap plastic plates at hardware stores, drugstores, supermarkets, Victoria’s Secret*… ) For example, Walmart is currently selling a 38 piece dishwasher safe set for $19, which breaks down to 50 cents apiece-- for dinnerware you can use over and over indefinitely.

3. Regular plates. I mean, when did the old fashioned, rustic activity of grilling meat become so fancy so as to require its own set of dinnerware? A table outdoors that was set the same way as it would be indoors would be visually pleasing, while leading to no unnecessary waste, saving money by not purchasing alternate plates, and helping to keep an American past-time in its proper pure perspective.

4. The combination of 1,2, and 3 in one plate: OneHundredDegree’s reusable plastic plates that look like the throw-away paper variety. Not the cheapest route to go ($16 for set of 4), but they are cute, kitschy, and eco-tastic. These plates look like ye olde picnic paper plates we fondly recall from our childhoods—but, surprise! They’re really sturdy melamine in disguise! Machine washable, long-lasting, and outdoor eating inspired, these also fit the bill for replacing throw-away plastic plates.

In defense of my sister, she was right—the plastic plates in our house had obviously already been purchased, and were bound to be used at some point. The mistake occurred long ago, wherever and whenever the original point of purchase transpired. After sitting down and reviewing these fool-proof alternatives with her, hopefully my family (and yours too!) will not make such a silly dinner blunder again.


*Just kidding with this one, although they don’t sell plates, you can absolutely go here to purchase as many plasticized cups as you want. (Get it? You know how you can tell when a joke’s funny? When you have to use asterisks and parentheses to explain how funny it is.)

Kelly loves green roofies

When I was a little girl, in a pre-Stephenie Meyers and J.K. Rowling literary environment, I loved, loved, loved Laura Ingalls Wilder and all of the books in her “Little House on the Prairie” series. It’s strange in contrast to today’s popular children series, but somehow the old-fashioned, hands-on adventures that the Ingalls girls had were every bit as magical and imagination capturing as the exploits of Harry Potter, Bella, and Edward.

I devoured those “Little House” books a long time ago, and although details from each book are a bit hazy and blurred together in my mind now, (note to self—rereading these books could make excellent beach fare?) I can still vividly recall the mental images I concocted during the time when the entire family dug out the insides of a hill, and made it their home. (Frustratingly, I can’t even remember which book this occurred in??) My faulty memory fondly recalls that on one side of the hill they installed a glass window, and on the side of the hill, they installed one of those doors where the top and bottom can open independently of each other, so they could air it out when it was nice outside. This little hole in the hill home was described (or at least, this is how I remember it) as being so discreet, that unless you knew the home was in there, it was quite possible to pass by that hill and have no idea an entire family lived inside. (Additional non-sequitur to self—house in hill would be great in case of zombie outbreak.)

At age 9, the idea of making a livable habitat in the dirt was so cool that I would have traded (in a heartbeat) my air-conditioned, indoor-plumbing, electricity powered, 5-bedroom home to have instead lived in that hillside domicile with the Ingalls.

Now that I’m a bit more grown-up, and more jaded/ spoiled/realistic, I can fully appreciate the modern luxuries of home—and rustic hillside dwelling does not seem like the sparkling, shiny idea that it once was. However, thanks to very creative and practical green thinking, it is now possible to enjoy all of the modern-day conveniences while allowing nature to be part and parcel of your house-- with a “living roof”.

Basically, a “living roof” is when there is purposely plant life thriving on top of a building. There is a wide spectrum of “living roofs”, ranging from little garden roofs, to things like this:

Besides an immense love for all things “Little House on the Prairie,” there are a ton of benefits to going “green” roof side.

The soil and vegetation provide great insulation; and can save a lot of heating and cooling energy. In the winter, these roofs absorb the heat from the sun and help keep the buildings they are on top of warmer. In the summer the living roof again provides better insulation and keeps the cool air inside, while the roof itself remains cooler than a regular roof, all the while creating shade.

By creating extra landscape, a living roof provides more living space for all sorts of creatures. Especially beneficial in congested urban areas, these roofs provide easy places for people to enjoy time outdoors. Local wildlife benefits also; as birds, squirrels, etc., will have new places to explore and thrive in.

From a more practical (i.e. boy) standpoint, you get more bang for your buck with a living roof too, as they last longer than regular roofs. A living roof blocks UV rays, and prevents extreme surface temperature fluctuations, which are main causes for regular roofing materials to deteriorate.

Living roofs also improve the local air quality, as the increase in plant life purifies the air better by absorbing more pollutants from cars, pollen, and dust. Also, because the soil can retain 65-100% of rainwater, some floodings can be prevented by the decrease of local water saturation.


Last, but least, they look so cool-- imagine having a permanent vase of flowers decorating the top of your house? It would give you a visual kick-start every time you looked at it. Since this is kind of a newish practice, green roofing companies are still playing around with which plant varieties work the best for roof purposes, but some people have successfully grown huge Christmas trees on their houses, and some people have successfully had prosperous vegetable gardens growing on their roofs. (Love that idea—so, so green!) Also, since the idea of making use of a roof is now open for interpretation, people are thinking of all sorts of ways to make the most of the space. Some innovators are incorporating solar panels into their living roofs, and people are really thinking outside the box (house?) in order to maximize that once wasted space's green potential. To that I say, kudos!

Happily, this trend is catching on, and respected, well-funded universities such as Penn State, North Carolina State, and Michigan State are all doing substantial research on green roofing, and are in the midst of incorporating large scale green roofs throughout their campuses. Penn State already has multiple buildings with green roofs, and has many more planned for the future in order to coincide with their goal to “green” the campus-- such as the building pictured, which is fittingly to be their new Center for Green Roof Research.

With all of this green, living roof activity going on, it could be open for interpretation when someone says they can't wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet heard from above…

Blame it on the rain?

No.
Blame it on Forks? Oh, I do.

Ever since getting completely consumed in the Twilight series (which I had initially completely dismissed as cheesy tween lit), the rain (which I used to loathe,) now holds a certain romantic and Gothic appeal that makes my EMO heart ache in the best way possible...

It used to be that when I looked at the window and saw rain, I was bummed. (I have naturally curly hair that I try to fool everyone into thinking is naturally straight.)


Now when I see the once dreaded precipitation I sigh, and wistfully think of the rain, mists, and clouds that were always present in the little town of Forks, making itself so conducive to a vampire habitat... Mental images of Edward, Bella, Jacob, and shirtless werewolf boys flash through my mind, and suddenly—the rain doesn’t seem so bad. (And my hair isn't even a concern.) Thanks Stephenie.

To go along with my new sunny attitude towards the rain, there is awesome “green” rain gear that enables anyone to get through the cloudy days both stylishly, dry, and environmentally conscious.

Enter Radley, one of the biggest handbag designers in the UK. Their moto is to make beautiful things that women fall in love with, and with their enivornmental concern I'd venture to say that Mother Nature might just count as one of their biggest fans.

Branching off from their handbag mainstay, they have started to develop eco-friendly accessories such as umbrellas and reusable shopping bags. They have developed a way to recycle plastic water bottles into adorable umbrellas, and there’s a certain irony to the whole idea that I love-- what was once used to keep water on the inside is now used to keep water on the outside. (The reusable bags are really cute too, but my Twilight slant focuses on the rain story.)

With a cheerful Radley umbrella in hand, I can only hope that I look as cute as Bella did in her big green rubber rain boots and yellow rain jacket, and that secretly, somewhere, a vampire is falling in love with me...

Oh shit! TP is bringing the environmental apocalypse?!

I am a staunch believer of keeping it green in the bathroom.

Consider:

• When my sisters brush their teeth with the tap water going full-force, I yell at them. (“Were you planning on taking a minty bath in the basin when you’re done?”)

• When there are all kinds of empty plastic bottles in the bathroom trashcan, I suck up my pride, hold my nose, and dig them out so that they can be recycled properly. (Certain weeks of the month are scarier than others.)

• When it comes to hair-styling, I let my hair air-dry as much as possible before I use my electrically efficient hair-dryer to put on the finishing touches.

Basically, when it comes to bathroom environmental etiquette, I am no slouch. And yet, I recently heard terrible news about something so integral to the bathroom, that it almost made me have to go to the bathroom. An esteemed scientist is going across the country, spreading his research about the latest environmental catastrophe American’s are unknowingly committing…

Allen Hershkowitz, the lead scientist at the Natural Resources Defense Council, published an article with the New York Times detailing his research that proves beyond a doubt that America’s demand for soft toilet paper is destroying the world’s rain forests, and thus causing the end of the world. For example, he believes that “people just don’t understand that softness equals ecological destruction.”

And ah… the media does love their fear mongering, and once introduced they happily romanced the shit out of this story like only the current media could. After processing the information in Hershkowitz’s article, the bastardized love-children equivalent of articles abounded with titles such as these:

“It's [toilet paper] As Bad For Planet As Hummers, Groups Say”
“America's Love Affair with Really Soft Toilet Paper Is Causing an Environmental Catastrophe”

Really?

Snippets from these articles include fear-inducing delicacies such as:
“The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.”

Hershkowitz’s story goes like this: only the fibres of virgin trees can be used to achieve the softness of paper that American’s crave-- recycled fibres just cannot be made to feel the same way. Because of this, evil toilet paper companies are going crazy trying to keep up with everyday toilet paper demands, and therefore deforestation is running rampant. Tree holocausts are happening left and right in order to satisfy American’s greedy bowel needs. The media would like you to believe that entire forests are being wiped out (ha), and innocent 300 year old trees that never hurt nobody, are being hacked up for doody duty.

To this affect, Hershkowitz is not asking for that much; he just wants your soul. Just kidding, he really just wants you to suck it up and wipe yourself with the scratchy, recycled stuff. "This is a product that we use for less than three seconds and the ecological consequences of manufacturing it from trees is enormous," he says. (I can’t help it, every quote I read of his, I am imagining an illustrated South Park scientist vehemently saying, arms waving all around to show the seriousness, with the letter “s” slightly lisped and strong emphasis on action words.)

It’s amusing (and by amusing, I really mean depressing) that so many trusted media outlets picked up this story and ran with it, without doing any real homework on the topic.

The idea that my fiber-intake was part and parcel to the decimation of forests and CO2 gas overloads really upset me-- enough so that I felt inclined to take 5 minutes out of my day to quickly Google the topic. To my utmost relief, by doing this I was able to to find intelligent arguments that sufficiently quelled my TP blues.

So, here's the truth behind the latest fake environment scare.

People that cut down trees for paper are doing it for business purposes. Part of running a successful business means making maximizing resources, and minimizing unnecessary waste.

To that point, when a North American tree is cut down, not one twig, branch, or piece of bark goes unused. The best pieces are used for home-building or furniture, of which there is the largest demand. Paper, including toilet paper, is made from the sawdust and chips that are left over from sawmilling. The left-over bits that are not suitable for paper (such as bark and super fine sawdust), are burned to make energy for the sawmill and dry out the lumber. In the end, absolutely 100% of the tree is used.

As soon as a tree has been cut down, a new tree is planted. This is a business after all, and in order to run a business new materials have to constantly be available. Although damage was done to North American forests during the Industrial Age, foresters have since realized the error of their ways, and are now very conscientious (and intelligent) about repopulating their wood supplies. To wit, there are more trees currently in the US than there were 100 years ago. Interestingly, over that same time period, the U.S. population has more than tripled. That’s a lot more bottoms needing toilet paper, and yet — no deforestation.

People like Hershkowitz, who claim to be environmentalists and yet make big stinks (again, ha) about fake eco-nonsense, do much more harm for their “cause” than good. The beneficial role of forestry is made clear by the fact that the countries that have stable or growing forest area are the ones that use the most wood; as is the case for North America, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and Japan.

In an attempt to scare everybody, the media and propaganda spreading activists have tried to manipulate the public into thinking that when we use wood we are destroying forests, when in fact the exact opposite is the truth: the purchase of wood products sends a signal to plant more trees, and produce more wood.

The International Panel on Climate Change and the Kyoto Climate Treaty specifically recognize that forest management plays a positive role in absorbing CO2 and preventing its release in the first place. It is stunning that Allen Hershkowitz, senior scientist for the NRDC, seems to be unaware of this.

Wood is far and away the most abundant renewable material on earth. It is scary (and by scary, I again mean depressing) to think that so many “environmentalists” are campaigning against forestry, when the alternative building materials are concrete, steel, plastic and more use of fossil fuels.

Of course we should (and do) recycle paper that is suitable for recycling, and we already do this for newspapers, cardboard for packaging, and printing paper. For toilet paper though, come on, get off our backs and leave our butts alone.