Energy Jerk #2: Go take a cold shower

When it’s cold outside, unless I am under extreme time duress, I can’t help myself from being an “energy hogging jerk” by drastically abusing rule number two: taking really long hot showers.

As discussed before, I hate taking showers due to the time consuming rites and rituals that are involved with being a girl. Shaving, exfoliating, body lotions, blow-drying, ugh... With so many unpleasant parts of the bathing process, I try going to enjoy the parts of it that I can, i.e. feeling as warm as possible, for as long as possible, under a hot cascade of water. During the winter, it seems like any time of day, taking off your warm clothing and getting in the shower is an assault to the senses. Being cold is such an unpleasant feeling… but the worst part is getting out of the shower and standing dripping wet and shivering. (Hopefully NOT underneath or near an air-blowing vent.) To stave off the inevitable shivering bout, I of course put off this worst part of an evil shower for as long as possible… I mean talk about an unhapy ending!

However, I didn’t fully realize before that by prolonging my warm showers, I was being a jerk too? (Like my grandmother always says about the theme of Harry Potter, "evil" is contagious… figures that instead of the shower cleansing me like its meant to, it just makes me as evil as it is. Get thee behind me, shower.)

Here’s the expert’s take:

A long hot shower may be a small luxury, but those extra minutes spent
escaping with your thoughts under the body-warming water stream can quickly earn you some icy glares. For starters, hot-water tanks are finite and nobody enjoys a cold shower. What's more, hot-water heaters account for about 15 percent of an average home's energy bills, according to the Alliance to Save Energy.

Try to limit yourself to five minute showers to make your housemates and bank
accounts happy. If that doesn't work, at least invest in a low-flow shower head,
Rogers said. Another option is a so-called tankless water heater. These
appliances generate a continuous stream of hot water when they are on –i.e. the
hot water doesn't run out – and when the hot water is turned off, it is off. The
devices do cost more than a tank, but tend to last longer and consume less
energy so they pay for themselves in a few years.

I feel like in a fluffy way—the point is made: take shorter showers; the less water used, the better. This one sounds easier in theory than it may be in actuality, but I’m willing to give it a try. I guess on the bright side, less time in the shower means more time and money to spend on the après-shower routine… (Which is good, because rubbing a rose on my face alone takes at least 40 minutes.)

Organic candy shampoo for dirty dogs

Racing home from an exhausting day at work, only to find that my puppy peed and/or pooped in her crate and then played it in all day long, is not fun. (My nose usually updates me before my eyes do.) Picking up her smelly self and throwing her in the tub is a far cry from my previous after work duties of going to happy-hours and sipping cocktails. (Safe to say I severely underestimated the work required for a puppy.)

Getting my fingers all up in her hair, and sudsing the matted poop off her is pretty gross. Thank god my roommate is never around during these moments to see how quickly the white porcelain tub turns brown…. However, although I can never claim to like doing this, I do have to admit that the shampoo I selected for her smells so good — like candy— that the situation is sweetened a bit. I know its gross to admit this, but the shampoo actually smells so good that it makes me hungry and causes my mouth to water a little bit, despite my disgusting task at hand (and literally, in hand). The added plus to using this shampoo is, once she’s clean and running around like a mad-woman trying to dry herself off, her crazed antics make her a veritable moving air freshener—and the gesture is certainly appreciated as I undertake my next task of scraping and sanitizing the excrement out of her crate…

My puppy shampoo by Earthbath is made out of all natural ingredients, (the company promises that nothing bad whatsoever, for anything, is in the formula), its tear free and gentle, will not wash away any topical flea treatments, was manufactured in the USA, and is satisfaction guaranteed: if you couldn’t tell by now, I really think this is the way to go. (Comes in a variety of formulas, I’m currently hooked on the cherry scented “puppy” version. Wonder if I can even use it on myself??) The product is sold at your local PetSmart, but also is available through multiple online vendors.

Sorry for the brown streak of articles—“they” always say to write what you know, and right now, I’m majorly down with the brown. Until they come up with a safe/environmentally friendly way to do this:


you can look forward to upcoming articles such as “The many green uses for puppy pee-pads,” and “Organic dingleberry recipes”.

Biodegradable doggy doody bags

I learned about cleaning up dog poo the hard way…

In preparation for an imminently arriving puppy, I began taking my mom’s spoiled rotten, house dogs out on walks. Terribly out of shape, and ornery at having their nap schedule interrupted, they were hard at first to get under control.

Once they settled down enough to take notice of the new smells and sights around them however, their inner canine natures took over and their tails started wagging as they both wore matching open-mouthed, tongue-lolling doggy grins. As they pranced along, nature again took its course, and they both intermittently relieved themselves. Prepared with an empty plastic shopping bag (at least the evil plastic bag was going to get some re-use), I picked up their still-warm feces with a grimace. Since my parents live in a woody, posh neighborhood, there are no street or community trashcans out and about. I held onto the bag of poo for the remainder of the walk, and since there was really no other choice—threw the bag into the garbage cans in the garage.

This happened on a Monday. Trash is collected on Friday. The following 4 days seemed like the hottest of the summer. That bag of poo sat in the garbage can, baking, for four days. Every time the garage door was opened, a warm burst of sewer assaulted our nostrils, and the odor was maliciously infiltrating the house through the garage door that connects to the laundry room, and into the cars that were innocently parked inside the garage. My parents didn’t know about the poop, and blamed the smell on chicken bones… afraid for the reaction my admission would create, I kept silent but deep-down felt as bad as the garage smelled. (Sorry Mom.)

Although I felt horribly guilty about using biological warfare against my loved ones, I felt torn. What else was I supposed to do? Couldn’t leave the poop, although at the time I rationalized that would be the most logical route to go—poop is biodegradable, and would dispose of itself without creating any additional waste. A plastic shopping bag was the best container I could find at the time, and I couldn’t just leave the bag filled with poop as litter on the ground? (Feel like that would totally defeat the entire purpose of “picking up after your dog”?) In retrospect, I guess I could have dumped out the bag’s contents into the toilet, and flushed the poop away. (A bag with poop remnants would have to smell better than a bag filled to capacity?) My poor family and I dealt with the results of my poopy decision for an entire week, and I learned my lesson: use bags that are meant for doggy doody duty, with green bonus points for using biodegradable versions.

After just doing some cursory research, I found a whole slew of reasons why dog poop is actually bad for the environment (who knew??) which makes it more comprehensible why cleaning it up is so imperative as to have been made a law. For instance, I think smelling dog poop is bad enough—the idea of drinking it is absolutely revolting. And yet, apparently this is happening as 20-30% of all pollutants in waterways are attributed to dog waste. Overall, it is believed dog waste is third or fourth on the list of contributors to bacteria in contaminated waters due to rainwater run-off, dogs pooping near watersheds and beaches. Ewww! (It is estimated that dog owners do not collect over 4 million tons of dog waste annually.)


If the poop has to be cleaned up (and it does,) plastic bags are a bad choice, as “plastics are the fourth highest generated waste in the U.S., originate from petroleum which is non-renewable, do not biodegrade, and take thousands of years to break down.”


Taking all of this into consideration, obviously biodegradable poopy bags are the way to go (added incentive—they even have cute little dispensers to make these look like a cute dog-walking accessory! Isn't it so cute-- the bag looks like poop coming out of the dog's behind! My goodness!) My fact source, the eloquently, subtly named PoopBags.com, explains why biodegradable bags (coincidentally, theirs in particular) are the way to go: if the bags are ASTM D6400 certified, it means the materials they use are fully tested to ensure that it will degrade at a similar rate to a freaking apple! They are made from a combination of corn and other renewable products, and biodegrade naturally when exposed to the earth’s elements and micro-organisms in the soil. Also—because of the way the bags are made, they “breathe,” which ironically makes it easier for us to do the same. The construction of the bag allows heat and moisture to escape, which reduces bacteria build-up and retards odor. (Yay!)

Since the stork has since delivered my fur baby, and I daily bear witness to how much poop comes out of such a tiny thing—this product is something I am definitely going to stock up on. Picking up poop is never going to be an enjoyable experience, but at least using biodegradable bags will make me feel like I am doing the world a good deed. (Like, 5 good deeds a day.) Since all dogs go to heaven, I hope this portends favorably for the dog's owner too?




Also, there’s a cute and inspiring background story behind PoopBags.com, and despite the current economic gloom, the American dream is alive and well. (The creator’s Vice President is Miss Cinnamon May… his dog.):

PoopBags.com! When you typed some keywords into your search engine of choice, you may have laughed when you saw the link for www.poopbags.com come up. Well, when I was walking my dog in the summer of 2003, I laughed too when I first thought about the idea...As a single guy, living in Chicago's Lincoln Park, I would always run out of the plastic grocery bags I used to pick up May's poop. As a backup, I'd use the ones from the newspaper, sandwich bags, ask my Mom to save me bags, snag some from a friend's house – it was crazy.
Then I started thinking about all these plastic bags... I looked online and started reading more and more about plastic bags in general. How they are made, how they'll never go away in my lifetime, and then I laughed to myself and said, "What if I started a company called PoopBags.com and sold biodegradable dog poop bags for a living?" Well, I challenged myself to find out.After purchasing the URL from a company in London and testing several manufacturers, with help of my Vice President of Product Testing, Miss Cinnamon May, I chose the final product that launched PoopBags.com, Inc.

Trust me, it takes awhile to get used to saying "PoopBags.com." At first, I was a bit shy in saying it as I knew the looks and reactions I would receive. Now, I look forward to it. So does the media... We've done interviews on the radio, had several articles in newspapers across the country, been featured in magazines and more. Each year we have experienced tremendous growth, but we're just getting started. The entire World is now realizing that plastic bags are simply bad for the Earth. It takes oil to make them, they sit around for over 100 years, they harm fish and wildlife, they plug drainage sewers in cities, and the list goes on.

Well, that's the story on PoopBags.com so far. We've moved from my dining room to a small warehouse, I have two employees for whom I am very grateful. So, whether you bleed Green like me, "just need some poop bags" they might as well be or you want to help a corporate guy out of those four walls, please consider a purchase from www.poopbags.com. You'll be doing the World a bit of good, one bag at a time.Thank you for your support, we truly do appreciate it.- PC-

Dumpster Diving

These pools look so refreshing and delicious, no one would ever guess that these are really gussed up old dumpsters...

Thirsting for more?

Reusable water bottles have become quite the trendy accessory.

Although I have thus far been quite satisfied using my huge Wawa plastic bottles over and over again until they all but disintegrate in my mouth, it has recently been brought to my attention that this might not be the best route to go. Be damned all of you conspiracy seekers, (I’m not partial, and am including all those that think chemicals are leeching into my water from the plastic, and those that try relaying scare tactics about mold growing in my H20, etc.) my new open-mindedness to drinking-bottle alternatives comes from several unlikely sources and not from anyones nay-saying. Instead, the credit for breaking through my Wawa stubborness belongs to OK! magazine, coupled with copious amounts of online shopping.

It seems that the overall awesomeness of Siggs aluminum bottles can be neither denied, nor ignored. I have read about these bottles time, and time again. It seems we were meant to be together… and who am I to deny destiny?

I have seen them on the most random internet sites ever, and can’t help but notice their plentiful mentions in magazine genres of all kinds. (Wowza, Siggs PR team deserves a raise!) Apparently their absolute market infiltration is working, because— lo and behold—none other than Siggs aluminum bottles popped into my brain today after I noticed the sad state of my trusty old Wawa bottle...

Originally purchased in late December 2008, it has certainly fulfilled its thirst quenching duties. Over the past six months, we have experienced a lot together; and hitting the bottle has gotten me through a lot of tough times, and I've come to rely on its constant “half full” mentality. However, I can’t help but notice that its once proud and crisp blue label is now starting to peel off, and like skin on bones, the label is all wrinkled up against the plastic ridges of the bottle beneath. The sides of the bottle bend inward at my slightest touch, and the mouth-opening has layer upon layer of sparkley Chapstick build-up. Always standing tall and resolute, day after day, on my desk, it has never left me high and dry—and yet, deep down I know it’s time to give this poor bottle a break, and send it to be reincarnated at the big recycling factory in the sky.

I was sadly dwelling upon my Wawa bottle (I feel like the “sad” can be applied in numerous ways?), that I started to consider perhaps investing in a more permanent, hardy type of water bottle — because, even if I only buy 2 plastic water bottles a year, that is 2 empty water bottles that could have been prevented. Then, like the good girl that I am, I started to wonder, WWJD? Literally. Except, I’m Jewish, so my “wwjd” was “what would Jake Gyllenhaal do” in a situation like this? Super weird, I know, and yet for some reason his face is linked in my brain to Siggs bottles?

So, bored at work per usual, I decided to do a little Siggs research and was intrigued by my findings. Which is obviously why you’re reading about it now.

Once upon a time, in the year 1908, a Swedish entrepreneur named Ferdinand Sigg decided that aluminum was the "material of the future". Completely committed to the success of his favored metal, he started making all sorts of household materials with it; pots, pans, bottles, you name it-- he tried it in aluminum. His fellow Swedes dug the aluminum, and his aluminum company grew by leaps and bounds. To this day, the name "Siggs" is still famous in Europe.

A few years ago, some investors bought the company and changed the direction of it, now focusing solely on the bottle design, and trying to infiltrate the brand into the United States.

The benefits of aluminum drinking bottles hopefully made this an easier venture than naught, as apparently using aluminum for drinking bottles has every advantage you’d want. The material is extremely resistant to mold and bacteria, and is non-porous so that nothing you ever have in the bottle will affect the flavor the next thing you have in there. Siggs bottles exceed the FDA’s regulations on chemical leaching with 0.0% leaching occurring, and the insides of the bottle are baked in a way so that they will never chip or break into your drink. For added street creds on top of everything else, Siggs bottles are also considered the “world’s toughest water bottle” by Backpacker magazine. They hold 1 Liter of water, and cost approximately $25, which is not bad on either count. As mentioned, they are very durable, and in order to keep them clean you can wash them out with soap and hot water, or if you’re the OCD type that needs to disinfect every nook and cranny-- there are cleaning brushes available. All is well that ends well, and a happy ending is ensured with Siggs too, as they are 100% recyclable should ever decide you don’t want an awesome water bottle on hand.

And, I saved the best part for last. The reason that so many trendy LA and New York celebs and hipsters tote these bottles around is not only because they want the world to see how “green” and trendy they are, but also because they are superly cute! Aside from solid colors and geometric patterns, they have famous brands, like Airwalk, Hello Kitty, Sponge Bob, etc., come in and do their thang all over a bunch of bottles. There are bottles decorated in yoga inspired designs, Anthropologie looking vintage designs, hippie tye-dyes, and really, something for every aesthetic taste.

The designs of these bottles are not just geared towards chicks either, dudes dig them too—and both GQ and Stuff magazine have given them shout-outs before. (I’m sure it doesn’t hurt their popularity amongst the gents that they offer a selection of flasks as well.)

Now my problem is, which design do I like the best?? And, do you want to come to the memorial service I will be having for my ever faithful Wawa Bottle? (Please circle yes or no, and rsvp asap, recyclables go out Friday morning.)

Yes No Maybe

Kelly loves green roofies

When I was a little girl, in a pre-Stephenie Meyers and J.K. Rowling literary environment, I loved, loved, loved Laura Ingalls Wilder and all of the books in her “Little House on the Prairie” series. It’s strange in contrast to today’s popular children series, but somehow the old-fashioned, hands-on adventures that the Ingalls girls had were every bit as magical and imagination capturing as the exploits of Harry Potter, Bella, and Edward.

I devoured those “Little House” books a long time ago, and although details from each book are a bit hazy and blurred together in my mind now, (note to self—rereading these books could make excellent beach fare?) I can still vividly recall the mental images I concocted during the time when the entire family dug out the insides of a hill, and made it their home. (Frustratingly, I can’t even remember which book this occurred in??) My faulty memory fondly recalls that on one side of the hill they installed a glass window, and on the side of the hill, they installed one of those doors where the top and bottom can open independently of each other, so they could air it out when it was nice outside. This little hole in the hill home was described (or at least, this is how I remember it) as being so discreet, that unless you knew the home was in there, it was quite possible to pass by that hill and have no idea an entire family lived inside. (Additional non-sequitur to self—house in hill would be great in case of zombie outbreak.)

At age 9, the idea of making a livable habitat in the dirt was so cool that I would have traded (in a heartbeat) my air-conditioned, indoor-plumbing, electricity powered, 5-bedroom home to have instead lived in that hillside domicile with the Ingalls.

Now that I’m a bit more grown-up, and more jaded/ spoiled/realistic, I can fully appreciate the modern luxuries of home—and rustic hillside dwelling does not seem like the sparkling, shiny idea that it once was. However, thanks to very creative and practical green thinking, it is now possible to enjoy all of the modern-day conveniences while allowing nature to be part and parcel of your house-- with a “living roof”.

Basically, a “living roof” is when there is purposely plant life thriving on top of a building. There is a wide spectrum of “living roofs”, ranging from little garden roofs, to things like this:

Besides an immense love for all things “Little House on the Prairie,” there are a ton of benefits to going “green” roof side.

The soil and vegetation provide great insulation; and can save a lot of heating and cooling energy. In the winter, these roofs absorb the heat from the sun and help keep the buildings they are on top of warmer. In the summer the living roof again provides better insulation and keeps the cool air inside, while the roof itself remains cooler than a regular roof, all the while creating shade.

By creating extra landscape, a living roof provides more living space for all sorts of creatures. Especially beneficial in congested urban areas, these roofs provide easy places for people to enjoy time outdoors. Local wildlife benefits also; as birds, squirrels, etc., will have new places to explore and thrive in.

From a more practical (i.e. boy) standpoint, you get more bang for your buck with a living roof too, as they last longer than regular roofs. A living roof blocks UV rays, and prevents extreme surface temperature fluctuations, which are main causes for regular roofing materials to deteriorate.

Living roofs also improve the local air quality, as the increase in plant life purifies the air better by absorbing more pollutants from cars, pollen, and dust. Also, because the soil can retain 65-100% of rainwater, some floodings can be prevented by the decrease of local water saturation.


Last, but least, they look so cool-- imagine having a permanent vase of flowers decorating the top of your house? It would give you a visual kick-start every time you looked at it. Since this is kind of a newish practice, green roofing companies are still playing around with which plant varieties work the best for roof purposes, but some people have successfully grown huge Christmas trees on their houses, and some people have successfully had prosperous vegetable gardens growing on their roofs. (Love that idea—so, so green!) Also, since the idea of making use of a roof is now open for interpretation, people are thinking of all sorts of ways to make the most of the space. Some innovators are incorporating solar panels into their living roofs, and people are really thinking outside the box (house?) in order to maximize that once wasted space's green potential. To that I say, kudos!

Happily, this trend is catching on, and respected, well-funded universities such as Penn State, North Carolina State, and Michigan State are all doing substantial research on green roofing, and are in the midst of incorporating large scale green roofs throughout their campuses. Penn State already has multiple buildings with green roofs, and has many more planned for the future in order to coincide with their goal to “green” the campus-- such as the building pictured, which is fittingly to be their new Center for Green Roof Research.

With all of this green, living roof activity going on, it could be open for interpretation when someone says they can't wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet heard from above…

Blame it on the rain?

No.
Blame it on Forks? Oh, I do.

Ever since getting completely consumed in the Twilight series (which I had initially completely dismissed as cheesy tween lit), the rain (which I used to loathe,) now holds a certain romantic and Gothic appeal that makes my EMO heart ache in the best way possible...

It used to be that when I looked at the window and saw rain, I was bummed. (I have naturally curly hair that I try to fool everyone into thinking is naturally straight.)


Now when I see the once dreaded precipitation I sigh, and wistfully think of the rain, mists, and clouds that were always present in the little town of Forks, making itself so conducive to a vampire habitat... Mental images of Edward, Bella, Jacob, and shirtless werewolf boys flash through my mind, and suddenly—the rain doesn’t seem so bad. (And my hair isn't even a concern.) Thanks Stephenie.

To go along with my new sunny attitude towards the rain, there is awesome “green” rain gear that enables anyone to get through the cloudy days both stylishly, dry, and environmentally conscious.

Enter Radley, one of the biggest handbag designers in the UK. Their moto is to make beautiful things that women fall in love with, and with their enivornmental concern I'd venture to say that Mother Nature might just count as one of their biggest fans.

Branching off from their handbag mainstay, they have started to develop eco-friendly accessories such as umbrellas and reusable shopping bags. They have developed a way to recycle plastic water bottles into adorable umbrellas, and there’s a certain irony to the whole idea that I love-- what was once used to keep water on the inside is now used to keep water on the outside. (The reusable bags are really cute too, but my Twilight slant focuses on the rain story.)

With a cheerful Radley umbrella in hand, I can only hope that I look as cute as Bella did in her big green rubber rain boots and yellow rain jacket, and that secretly, somewhere, a vampire is falling in love with me...

It's what on the inside that crunches

We were recently privileged enough to be invited to this baby's Super Sweet "First" Birthday Bash. When we arrived, (after we were carded and checked off on the guest list, obvs) we were greeted by the birthday girl, who was all decked out in a "special", yet preppy, pink plaid Burberry jumper, with patent leather black Tod's driving moccs. Her ruffled bloomers completed the outfit, with her initials sewn onto the bottom, surrounded by lacy ruffles and flounces.

After having cake and a few temper tantrums, the present opening began. As each gift was unwrapped and revealed, each audience member/guest “oohed” and “ahhed” appropriately.

· Some sort of baby-grand (get it?) electric piano that could make every noise imagineable: "Ooooooooh!!!!" we all murmured, a combination of admiration and perhaps jealousy?

· A new Juicy dress with matching leggings. The chorus all went “Ahhhhhhh!” while her mother chirped something like, “Mommy has this outfit in black!”

· A huge stuffed animal that was three times the size of the birthday girl, with each extremity doubling as a toy; a rattle for a hand, a foot that was a mirror and squeaked…. “Oooooohhh!”

And so on and so on it went for the afternoon.

Once every package and parcel had been opened, the baby had a pile of brand-new fancy toys. Every gift had been hand-picked from upscale boutiques, as to what would best be suited for an one year old with discerning tastes, and equally discerning parents. Despite having half the large room taken up by her bounty of things that sparkled and shined, squeaked and squalled, the thing that had enraptured her mind and heart the most was the also sizable pile of discarded wrapping paper in the corner. Who needs Tiffany’s baubles and Baby Einstein when you can rip noisy things up with wanton abandon?*

It’s easy to forget that if you have simple tastes, you are satisfied with simple things.

Kids are as happy with wrapping paper and big empty boxes as they are with the things that came inside those entrapments. Remember how fun a big empty box was when you were a kid? Who needed fancy toys when you had a big box, an imagination, and siblings that would go along with whatever?

"Welcome to my penthouse. Would you care to nibble some bits with me, you sweet, sweet Webkin...?"
My sister has a chinchilla, and it’s like crack for her- she can’t help but to spend every penny she has on toys and luxurious accommodations for the fat rodent’s cage. (And also, she sniffs it, a lot.)

Seriously though, this thing has it’s own bathroom, tropical inspired hammocks, custom made lofts, a thatch-roofed bungalow, island scenery (to remind it of home?), and gourmet treats hand-fed to it daily… Basically, it’s 6 ft. tall cage is nicer than the Playboy Suite in Vegas. (And yes, just like Vegas, the chinchilla’s cage comes complete with its very own legalized sex trade. While it’s not the use my sister had originally intended for the little stuffed animals that she populated the cage with, she unintentionally became the john of the chinchilla cage. With her weekly rotation of characters, neither the toys nor the chinchilla, nor my sister [who can sleep better when the rodent’s quiet after tiring himself out,] seem to be complaining about the wanton acts of abandon happening in that faux-tropical hideaway…)

And yet, despite all of it’s rodenty accommodations, it’s favorite plaything is the cardboard roll that makes up the center of a paper towel or toilet paper roll. Indeed, he seems to get more pleasure playing with these, than from all of his Furries action combined.

This is why when I went over to my friend’s house the other night; I got really excited and inspired by something I saw in her bed that I thought was ingeniously green. (Ingreenious?)

Scared? (If you knew this friend-- and what could have been in her bed, you probably would be...)

I innocently picked up the little felt cow that lay there, and remarked on how cute it was. Her lab puppy bouncing at my feet trying to grab for it, seemed to obviously agree with me. I felt that there was something hard inside of it, and before I could start to get weirded about what exactly I was holding, my friend gave me the inside scoop. Literally.

You know how you can buy your dog everything in the pet store, and yet when you’re at home, he’s happier drinking water from the toilet bowl, playing with the stuff he can get out of the trashcan, eating poop instead of treats, and falling asleep anywhere? Another case of simple things for simple tastes....

K.I.S.S!
A bunch of genius (possibly dog whispering?) companies have taken note of what of their dogs are telling them, and have accommodated their trashy habits to make them safer, healthier, cleaner and greener.

The cow in my hand was basically a fancy cover for an empty plastic water bottle. I have known many a dog that loved chewing on empty, plastic water bottles (as they are apparently oh-so-fun to crunch on and destroy) and now--they can do just that, while leaving the plastic pieces all confined inside the animal cover, so the dogs cannot make a mess, or hurt themselves --and once the bottle has been sufficiently killed, it is replaceable! And recyclable! Woo hoo!

These bottle covers are available under a few different monikers, some are called "Bottle Crunchers", some are called "Bottle Buddies." They can be found in any pet store, and are available in a ton of places online. They are inexpensive, and can keep a dog satisfied, over and over. (Sort of like stuffed animals for a Chinchilla, in an equally "ew, I don't want to touch that" when they're done with it, kind of way.)

The moral of the stories is that happiness can easily be found in the most mundane of objects, and we shouldn't try so hard, or spend so much, on unnecessary acquirements.

On the plus side--now I know what to get my mother for Mother's Day. (Note to self: start saving those empty toilet paper rolls, now.)

*This was a very important day all around, as we all were reminded of something very important. Her 3-year old brother solemnly informed us that his baby sister DID NOT like it when you smacked her really hard, on the top of her head. Why? Duh! a.) It was not nice, and b.) Her head was still soft.

DO: Reuse Plastic Water Bottles

I drank a lot in college.

While there was a healthy mix of the stuff you’d expect, there was also a lot of coffee, apple cider, chocolate milk, and most importantly, tons and tons of water.

When I was in high-school, I didn’t drink at all, and yet my brain soaked up all of the drinking lore that I ever heard like a sponge. For whatever reason, one rumor really stuck with me: hang-overs are caused by being dehydrated, so all you had to do to never be hung-over was stay hydrated. (Maybe this struck me because it met my solution criteria- I can't help it, I like my solutions how I like my men; easy and elegant. ☺)

Once I began my magical (albeit hazy) experience at Penn State, I credit my water rule with a higher than average classroom attendance. While my friends were skipping class to recover in bed, or escaping during class for a bathroom throw-up break, I usually woke up feeling hunky-dory and ready to go eat a breakfast bagel. I attributed all of these wake-up success stories to my beloved bottles of Aquafina. (My personal standard was downing two 50 oz. bottles before going to sleep. I'd have to pee a lot, but I'm telling you, I'd wake up feeling grrreat!)

I still drink a lot, except that my age and responsibilities seemed to have increased proportionally to my alcohol tolerance decreasing? Next to me, ALWAYS, is at least one beverage-- usually a boring, but satisfying drink of water.

On my desk lives a bottle of “Wawa” brand water, and I use it every single day like a sealable cup. I refill it as needed, and have had this particular bottle for about 6 months.

Leave it to co-workers to try and ruin a good thing...

The first buttinsky told me that I was probably giving myself cancer by reusing the same plastic water bottle. Didn’t I know that water bottles are designed to be used once, and that after that first use the plastic starts “leeching” deadly chemicals into the water, which I then drank?!

I had never heard this before, but the use of the word “leeching” sounded a bit scientific, so I checked it out on snopes.com.

Just as I cynically suspected, water bottles DO NOT have a magic sensor that tells them when they “emptiness” cherry has been popped, and therefore can start “leeching” all over the place. The plastic is designed to be extremely resilient, which is what gives it a major advantage over glass. It is also designed to be able to handle Whitney Houston amounts of abuse (it’s still too soon to make tasteful Rhianna abuse references?) without chemical consequences.

The second water bottle know-it-all happened to walk by me during a refill session at the water fountain. He distracted my mental zombie preparations by smugly saying something like, “You know you’re not supposed to reuse those, right?”

Since I had already gone through this once, I had a good response.“Yeah, I have heard that before, but it turns out it’s a big urban legend that chemicals from the plastic leech into the water.”

He wasn’t impressed with the “leech” bomb being dropped at all, and snorted through his nose in reply.

“It’s not about the chemicals. It’s about bacteria growing in the bottle. You know how sometimes your bottle looks green? That’s mold you’re drinking.” He snorted at me again, and then turned on his heel and went into the bathroom.

I stood looking at my crystal clear bottle of water for a moment, and hoped that the bomb he was about to drop in there somehow exploded all over him.

However, this made me kind of paranoid and so yet again... to my trusty Google I went in order to uncover the truth of this new thing to worry about. (Just mind your P's & Q's about my H20, ok?!)

On plasticsorg.com, I hit the jack-pot of relevant information. “Plastics are by nature extremely sanitary materials, and plastic bottles are no more likely to harbor bacteria than other kinds of packaging or drinking containers.” While it is true that “bacteria thrives in warm, moist environments,” as long as you don’t poop into your water bottle you’re pretty much good to reuse it as often as you like.

Bottom line: the FDA closely regulates the plastic used for water bottles, (these materials are used around the world) and there is absolutely no harm in reusing them with a little common sense. (i.e. Please don't poop in a water bottle you want to drink from later!)

It’s good for you to drink tons of water, and you should—by reusing plastic water bottles you’re getting more for your money, but most importantly, (truly) you’re keeping a lot of perfectly good items out of landfills, and preventing energy being used to recycle them into something else when they would love to still be contributing members of your household.

Water does a body good. Pay it forward and return the favor; increase the life-span of your average disposable water bottle and reap the benefits. (I forgot to mention they make pretty cute accessories, and can compliment a wide variety of outfits and styles. Reference: all included Jennifer Aniston images, where she is looking fabulous as usual with [reused?] water bottle in hand.)