Juicy and Bloomingdales "reinvention" FAIL

Even though my beloved Olsens stopped wearing them over ten years ago, and laugh and laugh and laugh about the idea of it now—I have still have a pile of Juicy Couture zip-up hoodies in my closet that I am not giving up anytime soon.

Velour, terry, cotton knit, waffle knit, cashmere, fur lined, and in every color of the rainbow; pink, blue, green, pink, gray, camouflage, cream, pink, black, pink, white, pink—over the past decade I’ve garnered quite the collection and still find them to be the perfect outfit topper for many an occasion, despite what the Olsens might think.

Obviously driven by the goal to “SELL MORE HOODIES!!!” Bloomingdales and Juicy are currently staging a campaign trying to show you ideas on how to “reinvent” the idea of wearing a Juicy hoodie. For real. They’re calling it, “the new way to wear Juicy Couture!” I feel like, if it ain’t broke, (and how can throwing on a sweatshirt ever be broken?) wtf are you doing?

While I had no intention of buying anything (I was mildly open-minded though, Juicy has pleasantly surprised me many, many times in the past) I clicked away, viewing all the “new” looks, curious as to how the heck you can wear the hoodie in a new way. I was so hopeful that I would be inspired by something I saw, and be exposed to new styling options for the collection of hoodies I already own… I always love and appreciate inspiration on how to recycle the stuff I already have into new and interesting things.

Expecting urban, subversive and inspiring looks (maybe how to wear a hoodie like a diaper, in a cool way? Or, velour turbans? Studded, jeweled hoodies? Liquid leather hoodies and matching leggings?!) what I instead got was this look: 12 year old tomboy forced to dress up for synagogue.


Yawn. Pairing a zip-up with a skirt is their awesome new styling idea? Um, SO not impressed…

Not wanting to judge too quickly, I frowned and continued clicking through every outfit shown. As I studied the plethora of pictures depicting the alleged *super-cool, new 2009* ways to wear Juicy hoodies, all I could think was—do Pam and Gela know about this?? Do they?? Really?? Who was the eff was the stylist for this?? For a boundary pushing clothing company (I know, I know, seems weird to define the bubblegum trappings of Juicy Couture as “boundary pushing,” but they really are the ones who started making leisure-wear acceptable and attractive enough to wear everyday. Without them, Soffee shorts and old sorority t-shirts’s might still reign supreme for casual weekend attire... ugh.) this was so common-place, and...boring?

My gut tells me that Pam and Gela know naught of this lame sales attempt, and the whole thing is probably masterminded by Bloomingdales. (Also weird though, Bloomingdales usually gets so much right?)

But I mean, really. Jeans a sweatshirt?? What a novel concept. (Open-toed booties do not make this outfit "new.")

Juicy sweats and doc martens? Good god I hate this:


This one is ok.... but even still—kind of on the boring/generic side from two companies that are usually dictating the hottest of hot new trends. AND, not 100% sure why this outfit was even shown, because unless the sweater is gray terry cloth, or the leggings are black velour, this outfit doesn't even feature any components of the classic Juicy tracksuit?

This is the only one that gave me moment to pause, because while not amazing-- it still introduced to me the idea of wearing a tracksuit with heels. Like, if this girl was confident enough, this is an outfit she could wear out to a happy hour-- and I'm not sure there are many other ways to make tracksuits bar appropriate?

While disappointed in Juicy/Bloomies execution of project "how to reinvent wearing Juicy hoodies," I'd like to leave on a happy Juicy thought: starting on the day after Thanksgiving, last year Juicy offered a promotion where if you brought in old Juicy clothes (which they would give to those less fortunate) you would receive a discount on your purchase. That is smart marketing, doing something good for the world, while encouraging sales. I'm sure at least that tactic was P&G approved.

Free People "Freecylcing" old clothes into new looks?

Following in the footsteps of sister company Urban Outfitter's “Urban Renewals” line, it seems as if the whimsical/bohemian Free People may also be jumping on the transforming-old-clothes-to-make-them-cool-again band-wagon.

So, basically, yay!

I love this concept—and love being able to obtain totally unique articles of clothing, while doing some good for the environment.

Check out the revamped work shirt, that is now magically a cropped, slouchy over-shirt:

Based off the one cryptic blog posting, it seems there may be more of this to come. Fingers crossed...

Dumpster Diving

These pools look so refreshing and delicious, no one would ever guess that these are really gussed up old dumpsters...

Getting textual

For those times you don’t practice safe text…

Its so elegant and so amazing an idea, I am kicking myself that I didn’t think of it first. Texts from last night is a blog where anyone can post the funny texts they received the evening before, thereby recycling the ridiculous things that occurred amongst their friends.

Some are illicit, some are silly, some strike a little too close to home, and all will make you feel better about yourself.

It's an easy enough process --not that I've ever *cough cough* submitted anything-- all you do is email the text you want to submit, with the first three digits of your area code. If it passes the webmaster’s standards, the text is displayed for all to see—only identifiable by the area code before it.

A sampling:

(201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

(563): I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

(301): Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

(203): my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me

Really, it such a good site, and can kind of be considered “green” since its recycling something, right? It was hard to only showcase a few, so here are some more for your viewing pleasure:

(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

(813): This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.

Until they figure out how to install breathalyzers into cell-phones which will %100 prevent these sorts of literary gems, you can enjoy the whole TFLN (that’s how the in-the-know people refer to it) in-box, and lol, rotf, and enjoy all other sorts of abbreviated reactions. :)

Also, friends seem to really like it when you paste and copy choice postings onto their Facebook walls? ;)

Blame it on the rain?

No.
Blame it on Forks? Oh, I do.

Ever since getting completely consumed in the Twilight series (which I had initially completely dismissed as cheesy tween lit), the rain (which I used to loathe,) now holds a certain romantic and Gothic appeal that makes my EMO heart ache in the best way possible...

It used to be that when I looked at the window and saw rain, I was bummed. (I have naturally curly hair that I try to fool everyone into thinking is naturally straight.)


Now when I see the once dreaded precipitation I sigh, and wistfully think of the rain, mists, and clouds that were always present in the little town of Forks, making itself so conducive to a vampire habitat... Mental images of Edward, Bella, Jacob, and shirtless werewolf boys flash through my mind, and suddenly—the rain doesn’t seem so bad. (And my hair isn't even a concern.) Thanks Stephenie.

To go along with my new sunny attitude towards the rain, there is awesome “green” rain gear that enables anyone to get through the cloudy days both stylishly, dry, and environmentally conscious.

Enter Radley, one of the biggest handbag designers in the UK. Their moto is to make beautiful things that women fall in love with, and with their enivornmental concern I'd venture to say that Mother Nature might just count as one of their biggest fans.

Branching off from their handbag mainstay, they have started to develop eco-friendly accessories such as umbrellas and reusable shopping bags. They have developed a way to recycle plastic water bottles into adorable umbrellas, and there’s a certain irony to the whole idea that I love-- what was once used to keep water on the inside is now used to keep water on the outside. (The reusable bags are really cute too, but my Twilight slant focuses on the rain story.)

With a cheerful Radley umbrella in hand, I can only hope that I look as cute as Bella did in her big green rubber rain boots and yellow rain jacket, and that secretly, somewhere, a vampire is falling in love with me...

GreEn-bay

eBay's all about the green: http://www.ebaygreenteam.com/

Paper Chasing

Granted I kind of live in a bubble, but for me, Slumdog Millionaire seemed to be the beginning of an Indian infiltration into the American culture. If you tune in to any “pop” radio channel, Bollywood remixes are being repeatedly played, Frieda Pinto-- the beautiful female lead of Slumdog-- is said to be in talks to star as the next Bond girl, and now the Indian culture has even made its way onto little ol’ Kelly Green’s blog. I love this, and am happy for the opportunity to be exposed to some new, previously unknown (for me, anyway) cultural diversity.

Since this is written, I can incorporate any special effects I want. For instance, I’m rewinding time to go back one week:

While sitting on a train going to New York City, I was killing time (see, time is my bitch in this word world) by restlessly thumbing through that week’s trashy tabloid. After having read about Rhianna’a alleged pregnancy and Jen & John latest drama, I stopped on a page of green “must have” accessories. Sure, the certified oak “iWood” iPhone cover was pretty sweet, but $110 seemed like a steep price for some pocket wood. There was a cute reusable lunch bag, but come on US Weekly (or whatever magazine it was), we are all ALREADY hip to the reusable bags! Instead of these, the item that really caught my attention was like the runt of the litter in a box full of frolicking puppies. Instead of aggressively seeking my attention, in the corner of the page there quietly sat a couple of thick, multi-colored bangles that were woven together out of paper-mached newspapers. They were unlike anything I had ever seen before, looked so unique and chic, were reasonably priced at under $30, and were such a good idea that I felt like felt like I had to share “Wellpaper’s” products with everyone I could.

After politely asking my lovely travel companion if I could rip the page out her glossy magazine, I carefully folded up the page and tucked it away in my cavernous purse, intent on further researching later.

Now, we are fast-forwarding to that Monday, when I first got a chance to Google my query. While I was really expecting links to Kitson and its ilk to pop up so I could tell you where to buy these cutie cute bracelets, I was surprised to instead first find the home page for the company, which revealed the inspiring and heart-warming history of Wellpaper and its goods. (And provides the tie-in to my India based introduction.)

Rewinding again: In 2004, an Israeli couple up and moved their family to a little town in India. She was an artist whom specialized in paper mache crafts made out of recyclable materials, and dabbled in social work. He was an accountant by trade. Once in India, they gathered groups of interested women, and taught them how to make products out of materials they had available to them (old newspapers and magazines, etc.), and make a business out of it --Wellpaper (Women's Empowerment through Local Livelihood) was thus born.

The village women that compose this organization are loving the fact that they can make their own money to better their families’ quality of living, while building close relationships with their co-workers, and establishing a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. (The site is really cute, there are bios of some of the involved women, and they share their thoughts and feelings in their own words.)

They are taught how to read and write, and are even dabbling in learning the English language. Wellpaper has seen enough success to warrant starting similar programs in 3 additional villages, and their products are being shipped all over the world. In addition to bangles, they also make lot other stuff, like baskets, coasters, earrings, hair clips, plates and key chains, and they are mostly all made out of “raw” materials, newspapers are the most common medium used, but plastic bottles, plastic bags, and old cartons are all fair game as well.

Obviously, buying these products is beneficial in a multitude of ways... and as cute as they are, the least of all being the fact that the Wellpaper accessories can benefit your outfit. The whole Wellpaper concept really appealed to me, because the hand-made, one-of-a-kind products that these women are making are proof positive of the good that can be accomplished by opening your mind and heart to those different than yourself. With all of the bad things people are doing to each other across the world, it's refreshing and invigorating to hear about such selflessness that is happening right NOW.

"Use me for my body"

Let's just say, it was the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen hanging in a closet.


When my grandparents moved from their huge house in Chestnut Hill to a two-bedroom apartment, it required everyone chipping in and helping them sort through 40 years worth of accumulated belongings. Packing up my grand-mother's vast walk-in closet was in itself an extremely daunting feat. However, adequately armed with my love of clothing and my grand-mother, I rolled up the sleeves of my Juicy hoodie and delved in.

It turned out to be like going through a fashion time machine; there were the Pucci dresses with matching tights, countless collage inspired Koos van den Akker creations (which ranged between 30 to 5 years old and whom my grand-mother views as a style deity), her wedding dress from the 1950’s, the dress she wore to my mother’s wedding in the 1970's, skirts that were so high-waisted they could double as tube-dresses, and I could really go on and on. (I’ll touch briefly on the beaded, ethnic necklaces from Africa, the sea-shell belts from New England, and the hats and lace under-things from Europe, just for s’s and g’s.)

I wasn’t really thinking anything was out of the ordinary when I went to reach in for the cinnamon colored satin shirt, until I felt hard lumps and bumps beneath the silken material. When I pulled back the collar to see what was underneath, I was horrified to see the countless empty eyes staring back at me. Their teeth were bared, as if ready to attack, and I don’t blame them- I’d unwittingly uncovered them from decades of entombment.

“Mom-Mom?! What…is….this?”

Turns out, taking the entire bodies of minks, gutting them, sewing little beads in place of their eyes, and then attaching them to each other to form a stole*, was quite fashionable at the beginning of the 19th century. The thing hanging in my grand-mother’s closet with the satin shirt cover had belonged to my grand-father’s mother, Ida, and had been acquired during affluent times before my grand-father and his parents emigrated from Austria to the U.S. in order to escape Hitler. To make it across the world safely together, they had been forced to barter and bribe away the majority of their possessions. Although neither my grand-mother nor grand-father liked the stole with the beady beaded eyes, they both felt required to hold onto it, as it was one of the only items to make the transition with them from Europe to the United States.

This might be the one piece of fur I would never wear. Sorry, PETA.
Apparently Victoria Beckham has jumped on the PETA band-wagon, and is forsaking her love of fur in exchange for political correctness. As I’m sure you know, PETA thinks wearing fur is an absolute outrage. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t care, and still rocks furs whenever she pleases, but I don’t know that I really want to cite her as an example... among other reasons, I don't think she's particularly partial about anything, and her main squeeze SaMantha has insinuated that Linz loves any and all furry/hairy things. (Especially beaver fur.)

Please don’t get me wrong, I love animals. Love, love, love them!
But, I love my fur coat too.

‘Tis true, I have a fur-lined coat which keeps me nice and toasty warm even on the chilliest of winter's days. It’s not ostentatious, as the fur is on the inside, but I secretly feel luxurious every time I slip it on. My grand-mother is of the mind-set, and often repeats her mantra, that “if everyone had a fur-lined coat, there wouldn’t be any wars in the world.” While I’m not sure about the validity of that, her sentiments towards fur can certainly be felt.

As PETA would have you believe, animals bred on fur-farms lead terrible, abused lives, only to be slaughtered in the end for their fur. However, this isn’t true. These animals live decent lives, never have to worry about where their food is coming from, and in death their existence goes on to be widely beneficial. (And, they’d die whether they were on a farm or out in the wild. At least on a farm, good can come from their lives?)

If these animals were left to live their lives in the wild and die naturally, their bodies would be destroyed and wasted by rot or stomach acids of the animals higher on the food chain that ate them. On a farm, every bit of the animal goes to another use.

The fur and skin goes to making fur coats, leather shoes, Uggs, belts, wallets, etc. For minks in particular, they have a thick fatty tissue underneath their fur, which is used to make a highly-valued oil which is needed for many purposes, from leather conditioner and preserver, to hypo-allergenic facial cosmetics and lotions. Some farmers sell the meat of the animals as crab bait, or give it away as food for wildlife preserves, zoos and aquariums. Others will use the animals' bodies to make organic compost, or the carcasses can even be bought and rendered down to provide raw materials for a wide range of products, from tires and paint to makeup, glue, and organic fertilizers.


Fur-farmers are the ultimate recyclers, NO part of the animal is wasted.

I like to look at it like wearing fur is the first step in vindicating the animals’ lives. I will wear my coat until it falls apart, it makes me happy every day, and by using these animal by-products, these animals’ lives were not in vain. Their lives have gone on to benefit countless other being’s- doesn’t it give more meaning to the animal’s life if it’s existence can be utilized and benefited from, long after the animals’ life-span has ended?

The bible looks at the situation the same way I do, and states that “cruelty towards animals that does not serve any human purpose [i.e. cruelty for its own sake] is prohibited. Cruelty required to serve any human need or desire or benefit is justified." In the Bible, animals are considered part of the bounty put here on Earth by God for humans to enjoy, like plants, rocks, and water. Humans can enjoy these in any manner they see fit (aside from sadism!) whether they want to eat them, wear them, do medical experiments upon them (with findings geared towards helping people), keeping them in zoos, or to keep as pets.

Sorry PETA, but it doesn't seem you have any legs to stand on, whereas I have at least 2.


* Old- fashioned term for shawl or wrap. Think today's equivalent of a pashmina.

Addendum to Things NOT to Recycle: Relationshits

OMG- forgot a major recycling no-no: your own romantic partners!! Granted, your friends’ exes are off-limits, but I completely overlooked the idea that YOUR OWN EX’s should be completely off-limits too! Although it’s tempting (especially with the recent passing of Valentine’s Day, and Hallmark subsequently reminding you how important it is to be paired off) to go back to someone tried and true- (you know they have the capacity to be in a relationship with you, you know you have the capacity to be in a relationship with them) you have to remember, these relationships dissolved for a reason. Probably because they were, as Dane Cook likes to describe, “relationshits.”

When I signed on to the Internet today, intent at the moment on Googling whatever random thing had popped into my mind , I was momentarily distracted by an eye-catching article on MSN’s homepage. “Romantic Mistakes We Stubbornly Repeat*.” After a Valentine’s Day spent with my grand-mother and her friends at a Pennsylvania Dutch all-you-can-eat smorgasbord, I figured this article could shed some light of a few things for me?

Although there were some good-points made, there were also some not-so good points made. To be fair though, the article was written by a dude, so he gets some points just for being so candid, in-touch, and public with his emotions. What he and I do agree on though, is that as tempting as it might be to take your ex back, do yourself a favor and remember that your ex’s are your ex’s for a reason. As a famous “Sex and the City” scribe describes, “It’s called a ‘break-up’ because it’s broken.”

Common emotional mistakes people make regarding their ex’s:

His views on Taking Them Back: You broke up with him, but even if he was a total jerk there is still a soft spot in your heart. You remember the good times, and — hey — it's not THAT fun being single. Often, we end up taking back people who have hurt us in the past or who just didn't work out. Not sure how often this works out, but doesn't it seem like we would be able to say "no"?

My view on this? You cannot recycle people, people. Again- it’s called a “break-up” because something was broken.

His views on Getting Lied to Repeatedly: Isn't it terrible when someone stays in a relationship while they are being lied to? It seems like everyone on the outside knows what's going on, but that person in the relationship believes everything to the point of blindness. In a perfect world, we'd learn from one lie, but often we think that lies are isolated incidents when in fact we could be getting lied to repeatedly.

I say, don’t we all know people who lie to themselves about being lied to??

If you personally don’t know anyone who is in a relationship where they are blatantly being lied to by their partner, just refer to popular TV shows, as it's a great, current theme. Take the silly model Alli on “The City,” who had the other woman confront her face-to-face and tell her exactly what she did with Alli's boyfriend, and yet Alli still ended up deeming the other girl a liar, and her boyfriend trust-worthy, despite the whole encounter being taped and aired for everyone to see.
What?!

I sadly, can also personally relate. I’m having massive déjà-vu right now (and am getting angry again, both at him and myself!) of the time when I received a text message from my then boyfriend, who was away at our alma-mater for a football weekend. The text read something like, “I had sex with your boyfriend last night, didn’t know he had a girlfriend until I looked at all the text-messages on his phone. I’m so sorry.” When I got my boyfriend on the phone, he denied sleeping with anyone, claimed he had no idea who would have sent something like that, and plead his innocence over and over.

“Why,” I asked him, “would anyone send a message like that to me if it weren’t true?” His answer- must have been one of his friends playing a joke on him. Haha?

Embarrassing as it is to admit this, I believed him. In retrospect, (I'm smacking myself in the forehead right now) god, I’m an idiot! But, people will believe what they want to believe.

At some point, it has to be realized that there is nothing for other people to gain by “lying” about your partner’s infidelity. Wake up, dump him, and don’t ever again waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate what they’ve got with you!

His thought on Staying With Someone Wrong For You (a.k.a. "I can change him/her"): Why do we stay with people when they are jerks, and why do we keep thinking we can change people? It's much better to be alone than to be dating a jerk. Why can't we apply that common sense?

I think, isn’t this just another way of lying to yourself?
I exist because my mother was guilty of being with someone she thought she could change. She felt badly for the childhood my father had endured, and thought that if he could only be properly loved, and see how to properly treat people, he could emerge from his cocoon of dysfunction as the butterfly husband of her dreams. After trying repeatedly, in every way she could think of, she divorced him 15 years later.

People are who they are, and don’t change. This has nothing to do with how much someone loves you, and might want to change for you- it is just impossible to change the person that people are born as.

He thinks it's a Mistake to Confuse Physical Intimacy for Emotional Intimacy: When we are in the heat of the moment, emotional closeness gets all intertwined with physical closeness. Sometimes we feel that if we can get close physically, it will eventually lead to a close emotional connection. I can say I have never gotten into anything special that was sparked by a physical connection and, believe me, I've tried. The deeper relationships grow out of a gradual emotional connection. Nevertheless, sometimes we think if we have physical intimacy, then something might come of it.

I agree, but I think from a girl's perspective- you get physically intimate with someone in the first place because you see a future with them, and want them to be who you think they have the potential to be... and basically this is all of the other mistakes compounded into one, lying to yourself, hoping to change someone... etc, etc.

The goal of having a gorgeous environment should include every aspect of your life. If you diligently recycle all of your soda cans and newspapers, while car-pooling to work every day in your Prius, and yet find yourself unsatisfied and unhappy with your love life- there are ways you can improve that aspect of your universe too.

Like everything else, it’s important to not give up, and keep on making the little changes and improvements to your life that will add-up to big time rewards. On to greener pastures, my friends! ♥

*If you’d like to read this guy’s article in its entirety with no interruptions from your green friend, please feel free to check it out at MarieClaire.com.

Top 10 Things NOT to Recycle

WE are recycled. (Yeah, I’m still on this whole Charles Darwin kick.)

Nothing about the genealogy of any of us is unique, and we are all just made of bits and pieces of our ancestors- with the people amongst today being comprised of the best traits our ancestors had to offer. (according to Darwin’s theory, anyway.) Plagues, wars, plate-tectonics, and god knows what else- obviously somehow our ancestors lived through whatever horrible things happened during their lifetimes, or else we wouldn’t be here.

So. Yea, recycling is a very good thing. However, when recycling is so thoroughly ingrained into our beings, is there anytime when, dare I say it… recycling is not recommended...?

Kelly Green’s Top Ten List of Things NOT to Recycle:

1. Your friends’ boyfriends.

Come on – respect this number one rule of girl law! I’m not saying anymore more about this.

2. Tampons.

(Maybe, I can just simplify this and say anything entering/exiting your body or involving bodily fluids, should explicitly not be reused amongst people? This blanket statement could cover a bunch of pertinent stuff, like syringes, condoms, thongs, newborns, and yes- even tampons, and boyfriends.

3. Jokes.

I’m kind of on the fence about this one. I think it’s hella funny to interject humorous movie quotes and punch lines, as long as your audience generally understands that what you’re saying is not original. There was this one kid in high-school who used to always say “funny” things in conversation, only to get called out seconds later. “You totally just stole that line from Chris Rock’s stand-up.” He would sheepishly shrug and acquiesce, but the damage had been done. The seed of doubt had been planted in everyone’s minds about the validity of this kid’s jokes, and then he couldn’t get a prom date and ten years later he goes to the movies by himself. (For real, saw him there, had the awkward 30-second catch up convo where he verified he was there by his lonesome. On a Friday night.) See the correlation?

Don’t let this happen to you, kids. It’s not ok to steal jokes, but it is ok to “borrow” them. Example: [insert any line from a “Flight of the Conchords” song here]

4. Names.
Again with the stipulations. In the Jewish religion, you are not supposed to name a baby after anyone one who is still alive, as the superstition is it this would take away the person’s soul. (Or something equally bad like that.)

I agree with this idea- if you want to name your children after your dearly departed, that’s fine, but it’s weird when there are five people in a family all with the same exact name. (Sorry numerous “Johns” I love, but it is annoying!)

Case in point:

Ring ring. (in case you’re unfamiliar, that is the sound of a land-line telephone.)
“Hello?”
“Hi, can I please speak to John?”
“Um, which one?”
“John Green?”
“Ok, but which one?”

Having multiple people with the same name leads to frequent, frustrating “Who is on first” type of conversations. Parents, please get a little more creative in this department?*

*I think the current trends almost bode well for me, with “Apples”, “Seraphinas”, and “Paxs” running around, it seems parents are now trying to be as outlandish and deranged hippie-like as possible when it comes to naming their children. This is also kind of annoying in itself, but in a completely different way. And, bless Octo Mom's heart, she now has opportunity aplenty to name babies to her heart's content.

On a final note about this topic- do Apple's parents really think that the little fruit of their loins is going to be thankful for her name when she’s an adult?

5. Voice messages.
It is super lame if you always leave the same exact voice message on people’s answering systems.

You know the types.

“Hi Kelly, it’s Boring calling. It’s 6:30pm on Tuesday, Feb 10th, please call me back.”

When I see missed calls from people that I know are serial offenders of this, it makes me even less inclined than usual to listen to their voice-messages. Why waste my time going through the hassle of checking my voicemail when I can look at my “missed call” log and learn in 2 seconds exactly everything the message would have told me?

6. Food that has gone bad.
There’s a fine line between when bananas are over-ripe and perfect for baking, and when they’re nasty brown mush that are only fit to throw out. I hate hate hate wasting food, but it’s bad for your health to try and make edible dishes out of food that’s prime has expired. Use your freezer, use your common sense, use your imagination, and this never has to happen. Take care of the food while it’s good, because no one should eat your spoiled, moldy old groceries, no matter what concoctions you transform them into.

7. Cliches.
Cliches are stupid, which is why my “Top Ten” list ends here. ☺
This is also telling, as aside from these listed 7 things, there are no limits on what can be reused, recycled, and reborn.

Easy, eco-money

I have never had so much fun with web-sites before that didn’t involve porn!

Just kidding! About the last part anyway... because these web-sites are awesome! Both involve making money from recycling and cutting down waste, with minimal efforts on your part required. Green for green, I love it!

Ok, so the first site is like a sperm bank, for gadgets.
The good folks at Hewlett-Packard have developed a trade-in program where they’ll give you money for your goodies that you don’t want anymore. (Although it’s run by HP, they are pretty open-minded, and are open to all makes and brands.)

Instead of jumping off your adventure with selection of enhancers like “Edward Penishands,” “White Men Can’t Hump,”or “Batman in Robin,” the fun here begins when you choose the genre of equipment you want to trade-in for straight cash. These options sound so mundane in comparison- such as cameras, computer monitors, or PDAs. You probably have tons of this stuff all over your house anyway, why waste it if you could better dispose of it, and make money at the same time?!

Further information is needed to estimate the worth of your unwanted load, like make, model, age, etc. Once you share all the details, and they receive and assess your special delivery- a check is put in the mail to you. HP will make sure your bits and pieces are placed in fostering new homes, and everyone has a satisfying happy ending.

Other options in this vein: CellforCash.com pays up to $100 for used cell phones, depending on the model , or see Kiplinger's "What to do with your high-tech has-beens" for additional information.

The second site helps you recycle and cut the waste of money.
When I found this site, MissingMoney.com, I seriously sat down, made myself comfortable, and entered every person’s name I could think of to see what their “unclaimed” money situation was.

States are at this very moment, sitting on billions and billions of dollars worth of unclaimed assets- from lost bank accounts, misplaced bonds and securities, dividend checks, uncollected utility deposits to unclaimed insurance policies.

I felt like a contestant on the “Price is Right” when I entered my own name, silently repeating “Big money, big money” to myself. I had nothin'. However, my dad had 3 pages worth of listings. My aunt and my friend’s dad had a few. No one I have (ever) worked with had any- but that person whose mail we accidentally got one time? Yeah, that person had some unclaimed money too. (All you need to check is a person’s name and state. I wasn’t trying to steal identities or anything, just being nosey!) I have even returned to “Favorite Grandchild” status (narrowly beating out my sister, who to my grand-mother’s infinite joy is the first of us to get engaged,) since alerting my grand-mother to the fact that my grand-father had three unclaimed deposits.

This is a ton of money, that is currently just being wasted, and you should all know by now how I feel about things being wasted… not good!

Other options in this vein: To cast a wider net, go to UnclaimedAssets.com to learn where to look for billions of dollars' worth of unclaimed assets held by the federal government, including Social Security checks, tax refunds and pensions.

So.... um, this is kind of awkward, but what are you still doing here?!
Go, click away, and be merry! (And feel free to let me know what kind of money you were able to score from these sites!)
Best wishes! xoxo

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Ah, my world- she is a-changing.

Not to brag or anything, but my recent verbalized environmental consciousness appears to be rubbing off on those near and dear to my green heart- which is the best inspiration as it only spurs me on to do more!

(Lucky you.)

So, my boyfriend called the other day after a shopping spree at Walmart with some green news he thought (correctly) I'd get a kick out of. Turns out that Walmart is now printing receipts on the FRONTS and BACKS of the piece of paper- cutting their receipt paper usage in half. I loved hearing about this, as I think it is such an elegant, easy way to make a note-worthy change. And, the beauty of this, along with a lot of other "green" methodologies, is that in addition to benefiting the environment these companies are also benefiting their budgets by making such little changes. (Also- I am not trying to say that I know the powers that be at Walmart, and that my green nagging had anything to do with the new receipt format. All I'm saying is that now my boyfriend noticed the change that may not have registered [no pun intended] with him otherwise.) Baby steps...

A changed person I can take credit for is little sister #2. Once, the cause of my bathroom dumpster diving (HAD to retrieve her carelessly tossed shampoo and conditioner bottles, and properly move to the recycling bin) is actually starting to notice exactly what she is consuming, and taking responsibility for how she is disposing of it. My crowning moment came when she proudly pulled out a tiny little drawstring bundle out of her purse the other day.

"What the heck is that thing?" I inquisitively inquired.

"Oh, just my new reusable shopping bag. It folds up into itself, see?" To which she proudly demonstrated. My heart swelled, now if she'll just remember to use it...

Not to be outdone, little sisters #1 and #3 have also come up with their own green scheme, to sometimes hilarious results. The back of our backyard butts up against a wooded area, and over the back fence any unusable food item is now tossed. Whatever the animals don't eat can decompose into fertilizer, and that much food is kept out of the landfills. It is comical in that my mother absolutely cannot find out this haphazard compost pile, for fear of "attracting the animals." (And frankly, considering I was just diagnosed with Lyme's disease AND West Nile Virus, maybe that neurotic matriarch is on to something after all...) My in-the-know little brother is distressed by the whole operation, because, well, he's not sure that the squirrels like popcorn and lettuce. To which little sister #3 retorts, "Then it can rot! Better then being in a landfill!" He usually doesn't have a response, and sighs as the girls win yet again.

Although there is still lots and lots of room for improvement, little sister #3 sums it up as simply and eloquently as only a 14 year old could; "There are 7 people in this house, if we all just make small changes it can add up to a lot of change. And, any good we can accomplish is better then nothing at all."

And that is exactly why I'll keep on writing.

Reincarmachination: A New Life for a Sad iPod

You know that heart wrenching episode of Sex and the City where Carrie “sad Macs” her lap-top? She was just wearing some over-alls, minding her own business, working on some sassy Sex article, when all of a sudden- the computer screen went blank, and a kind of scary face with the eyes X’ed out and a tongue hanging out of it’s mouth (am I making up the tongue part?) popped up.

When I first saw that episode, I wasn’t even sure if this phenomenon was real, or made up for Hollywood’s sake. Until, it happened to me.

There I was, at the gym, trying to get pumped up for a nice 4 mile run. After a quick stretch, I went to turn on my i-Pod and get it to the perfect play-list for the occasion. Waiting to hear the cacophony of adrenaline boosting rhythms from Missy, Beyonce, or new Britney, I was instead greeted by silence. Looking down to see what the problem was, I saw that ugly, sad face with the creepy X’ed out eyes (and possibly a lolling tongue) staring back up at me. I had sad podded my i-Pod! There would be no running that day.

Now happily ensconced in a new hot and heavy relationship with my i-Pod Shuffle, I sometimes still reminisce about my first i-Pod, and the love that once was. They say you never forget your "first", and for good reason. So many memories together; those long walks on the beach, steamy baths, road trips, soothing me to sleep… and now, literally a shell of what once was, is tucked away in my secret girls-stuff drawer because I don’t know what else to do with it.

Hopefully you never had to look into those evil-for-sure XX eyes yourself, but chances are that even if you have never had the unfortunate experience of an MP3 player dying in your arms- you still have upgraded to a newer version at some point over the past few years. Realistically, with the ever increasing menu of features appealing options available; colors, LCD screens, smaller sizes, it would be really, really hard not to have traded up. (Damn those amazing marketing and inventing geniuses at Apple!)

But, with this being the case, you are now kind of like me. As much as you might love that new trophy MP3 player, you’re still stuck with the remains from the ex.

Enter Reincarmachination: DIY ways to get a second-life out of your gadgets, in this case-iPods.

If you Google the topic of dead iPOd uses, you’ll get the some seriously nerdy suggestions like “How to Measure the Height of a Tall Building Using Only a Dead iPod and a Stopwatch.” (Seriously. Read below if you don’t believe me.) I however, am more interested in beautifying the world, both at large, and in my home. So instead of throwing these things out and contributing to the 1.9 million tons of yearly discarded electronics coagulating in the landfills, I wanted to come up with some suggestions that get some extra, albeit unintended, use out of past-their-prime MP3 players.

When I put the question “Hey, do you have any ideas for what you could do with a dead iPod?” to my usually outside-of-the-box thinking boyfriend, he thought for a second before replying.

“Why don’t you give it to Jack to take apart?”

Although the idea to give it to my 12 year old nerd brother for his amusement would provide an unintended use for the thing, my initial response was exasperation. Giving an old MP3 player to your favorite nerd to geek-out with was the best solution he could come up with?!

Curious as to what a bonafide nerd would suggest, I asked Jack the same question. His response?

“Umm, Popular Science’s website has a link to things people can do with old iPod circuitry and parts?” Thanks Jack, but again- don’t know that’s advice I want to spread amongst a bunch of girls?

Determined to come up with some outstanding ideas on my own, I set about dismantling the thing to see exactly components I was dealing with.

Unfortunately, the immediate discovery that the shell of the iPod was comprised of one piece dashed some of my initial ideas. (I.E. Fashioning an iPod into a compact. Wouldn’t it be cool to reach in your handbag, pull out an iPod, flip it open and use the mirror inside to ideally just powder your nose, but more realistically probably checking for Spinach between your teeth?)

Having to face the literally cold, hard facts of my endeavor, I wracked my brains to come up with other ideas.

The first idea to take sprout: an iPot. After having removed the innards of the iPod, you could put some soil inside the remaining shell, and through the hole where the control pad once was, plant some herb or flower seeds. The contrast of technology and nature would be very interesting, and the little plant growing out of an iPod would brighten up your office desk, kitchen sink, or random window sill. Bonus nature points for being able to see the growing roots through the screen.

Or, you could create an iPod Coated Candy Shell by using the empty iPod shell as a container for the candy of your choice. You should probably avoid sticky confections in this scenario, as they might be messy. However, gum, nerds (the candy kind, not the brother kind), tic-tacs, or candy hearts would look cool showing out from behind the iPod screen, and would be kept whole and fresh behind the protective casing.

Alternatively, you could keep it intact, and place standing up on a bookcase or desk somewhere as a decoration/knick-knack. In 20 years, it will be neat to have the thing to be able to show your kids what you used to listen to music with. (Lord only knows what music technology will be employed by that point!)

Whether you take the iPod apart or not, there is an awesome guy in Denver who will buy whatever iPod surplus materials you find yourself with. On average, depending on the model and it’s condition, he pays around $20 to $50 dollars for your iLeftovers. This guy buys people’s unwanted and busted devices, and then either fixes and resells them, or salvages the parts and resells those; all the while reusing his packaging materials and walking to the post office to pick up his packages. It’s a great concept, because he is getting re-use out of parts and pieces most people would have no idea what to do with, and making it worthwhile for people to contribute the needed goods for his business.

I know I will be seeing green all over if after creating my Flower iPot, I can be paid for the remaining guts, while preventing the addition of my stuff to the trash graveyard!
http://www.buymytronics.com/

If all, all, else fails, Apple has a recycling program that collects their dead minions.
http://www.apple.com/environment/

If all, all, all fails, feel free to get in touch with me- I have a little brother you could make very happy.

How to Measure the Height of a Tall Building Using Only a Dead iPod and a Stopwatch

1. Go to the top of the building.

2. Drop the dead iPod off the top of the building.

3. Using the stopwatch, measure the length of time, t, that it takes for the dead iPod to fall from the top of the bldg to the ground and smash to smithereens.

4. Using your above time measurement, and knowing the acceleration due to gravity, g, you can compute the height of the building:g = 32 feet per second per second = 9.8 meters per second per secondBuilding height = 1/2 g * t * t

Trying not to be so trashy...

Living in a household of 7 people, we create an astonishing and disgusting amount of garbage. (Much more on this later, as I'm sure you're all dying to hear more about this topic.)

However, it pains me- like it seriously upsets my stomach a little bit, to see the quantity and range of stuff that gets thrown out.

So, in my free time I have recently been trying to think of ways to cut down on this. (And, a plus of this is that usually the more use you can get out of something you already own, the less you have to buy, and voila- saved money! Green prevails all over the place!)

My trashy thought at the moment: Cereal Boxes

On one hand, I consider myself thrifty and environmentally friendly in that I mix up a bunch of cereals to create my own daily customized trail mix, and then reuse the same Ziploc bag everyday to house this delicious mix until the bag breaks. I tell myself- you're eating healthy, you're saving money, and you're getting exactly what you want. And, you're saving at least one Ziploc bag a day from spending an eternity rotting away buried in a landfill.

On the other hand, (and the part that I don't like to think about) 7 empty cereal boxes every couple of weeks or so still equals hella' lot of trash that I am solely responsible for!

So, ok- the ceral box itself can be broken down and recycled. And, they can make wonders these days out of reused cardboard, so, that makes me feel a little better.*

But, oh, the plastic bag liners...

Those suckers take hundreds and hundreds of years to disintegrate, if ever. (I know, horrifying: http://www.greenclubinc.com/faqs.html) Which leaves me pondering, what, oh what, to do with these things beyond their intended purpose?

Solutions that come to mind easily:

1. Have a dog? Live in an area where you are required to clean up after it? Empty cereal box liners would work perfectly for picking up your puppy's waste- just stockpile the cereal liners somewhere, and then you could cut down on the other types of bags that you would have used for this.

2. .....?

Very disappointing list, I know. I usually pride myself on being able to come up with tons and tons of (albeit, random) ideas for anything. And for this, I am struggling. Majorly. What else can you do with a largish plastic bag that is not necessarily 100% clean on the inside?

(*Bonus points to the cause if you buy General Mill's cereal and clip those "Box Tops" to help education programs across the country.)