Down side to buying in bulk

Even though Zac's doing it... and despite having posted an article previously touting the benefits of shopping at wholesale places like Costco or BJs, I still wanted to share the following article with you as it presents an interesting, although contradictory view to buying bulk vs. conserving resources (money): Worst Stuff to Buy at BJ's Club and Costco

Personal finance gurus Ken and Daria Dolan weigh in on what you really shouldn't
buy at warehouse clubs like BJ's and Costco.

Their list, from a WalletPop post, includes gasoline (which they say is quicker to increase prices than other gas stations), fresh produce (which probably costs or less the same at a local grocery store if we're talking about in-season fruits and veggies), toilet paper and paper towels (just not that cheap at these stores), and jewelry and designer clothes (the poor quality often doesn't justify the "discounted" price).

Frankly, I question the gas thing. We belong to BJ's, and at least in my experience, the gasoline prices there are always substantially cheaper than stations down the highway. I've always assumed the store uses a cheap gas price as a ploy to get shoppers to come in—and it works. It's the same reason that eggs and milk are cheaper at these stores. BJ's attracts shoppers to come in and buy these items for less than they'd pay at a standard grocery store. It's no coincidence that the items being discounted are things that people need regularly. Therefore BJ's gets these shoppers in the door regularly, hoping that they'll look around and buy more stuff that they probably don't need. You're already there, right? Why not browse a few aisles? That's exactly what stores want you to do.

The Dolans also bring up the question of big versus many:

What's the better deal?

Just because an item is three times the size of the one you'd find in the supermarket, doesn't necessarily mean it's a bargain at the warehouse. In fact, many times that massive one gallon container of ketchup costs more than the shrink-wrapped bundle of six smaller ketchup bottles.

Not only can the multi-packs be the real bargain, they can also be much more
convenient. Those smaller containers can be much easier to use, to store and to
finish before they go bad.

Very true. One thing not on their list: stuff you really don't need. Go to the store with a shopping list—and stick to the list. Otherwise, you'll come home with an odd assortment of items you had no intention or need to buy. And that is the worst stuff to buy at BJ's, Costco, or anywhere
else for that matter.

Juicy and Bloomingdales "reinvention" FAIL

Even though my beloved Olsens stopped wearing them over ten years ago, and laugh and laugh and laugh about the idea of it now—I have still have a pile of Juicy Couture zip-up hoodies in my closet that I am not giving up anytime soon.

Velour, terry, cotton knit, waffle knit, cashmere, fur lined, and in every color of the rainbow; pink, blue, green, pink, gray, camouflage, cream, pink, black, pink, white, pink—over the past decade I’ve garnered quite the collection and still find them to be the perfect outfit topper for many an occasion, despite what the Olsens might think.

Obviously driven by the goal to “SELL MORE HOODIES!!!” Bloomingdales and Juicy are currently staging a campaign trying to show you ideas on how to “reinvent” the idea of wearing a Juicy hoodie. For real. They’re calling it, “the new way to wear Juicy Couture!” I feel like, if it ain’t broke, (and how can throwing on a sweatshirt ever be broken?) wtf are you doing?

While I had no intention of buying anything (I was mildly open-minded though, Juicy has pleasantly surprised me many, many times in the past) I clicked away, viewing all the “new” looks, curious as to how the heck you can wear the hoodie in a new way. I was so hopeful that I would be inspired by something I saw, and be exposed to new styling options for the collection of hoodies I already own… I always love and appreciate inspiration on how to recycle the stuff I already have into new and interesting things.

Expecting urban, subversive and inspiring looks (maybe how to wear a hoodie like a diaper, in a cool way? Or, velour turbans? Studded, jeweled hoodies? Liquid leather hoodies and matching leggings?!) what I instead got was this look: 12 year old tomboy forced to dress up for synagogue.


Yawn. Pairing a zip-up with a skirt is their awesome new styling idea? Um, SO not impressed…

Not wanting to judge too quickly, I frowned and continued clicking through every outfit shown. As I studied the plethora of pictures depicting the alleged *super-cool, new 2009* ways to wear Juicy hoodies, all I could think was—do Pam and Gela know about this?? Do they?? Really?? Who was the eff was the stylist for this?? For a boundary pushing clothing company (I know, I know, seems weird to define the bubblegum trappings of Juicy Couture as “boundary pushing,” but they really are the ones who started making leisure-wear acceptable and attractive enough to wear everyday. Without them, Soffee shorts and old sorority t-shirts’s might still reign supreme for casual weekend attire... ugh.) this was so common-place, and...boring?

My gut tells me that Pam and Gela know naught of this lame sales attempt, and the whole thing is probably masterminded by Bloomingdales. (Also weird though, Bloomingdales usually gets so much right?)

But I mean, really. Jeans a sweatshirt?? What a novel concept. (Open-toed booties do not make this outfit "new.")

Juicy sweats and doc martens? Good god I hate this:


This one is ok.... but even still—kind of on the boring/generic side from two companies that are usually dictating the hottest of hot new trends. AND, not 100% sure why this outfit was even shown, because unless the sweater is gray terry cloth, or the leggings are black velour, this outfit doesn't even feature any components of the classic Juicy tracksuit?

This is the only one that gave me moment to pause, because while not amazing-- it still introduced to me the idea of wearing a tracksuit with heels. Like, if this girl was confident enough, this is an outfit she could wear out to a happy hour-- and I'm not sure there are many other ways to make tracksuits bar appropriate?

While disappointed in Juicy/Bloomies execution of project "how to reinvent wearing Juicy hoodies," I'd like to leave on a happy Juicy thought: starting on the day after Thanksgiving, last year Juicy offered a promotion where if you brought in old Juicy clothes (which they would give to those less fortunate) you would receive a discount on your purchase. That is smart marketing, doing something good for the world, while encouraging sales. I'm sure at least that tactic was P&G approved.

Free People "Freecylcing" old clothes into new looks?

Following in the footsteps of sister company Urban Outfitter's “Urban Renewals” line, it seems as if the whimsical/bohemian Free People may also be jumping on the transforming-old-clothes-to-make-them-cool-again band-wagon.

So, basically, yay!

I love this concept—and love being able to obtain totally unique articles of clothing, while doing some good for the environment.

Check out the revamped work shirt, that is now magically a cropped, slouchy over-shirt:

Based off the one cryptic blog posting, it seems there may be more of this to come. Fingers crossed...

Forrest to forests: Robin Wright Penn the Eco Mom

Loved her in Forrest Gump, and knew that was having lots of dramatic ish with hubby Sean Penn, but other than that... Robin Wright Penn was mostly off my radar. Until... I saw her smiling face in the pages of my new In Style magazine (my reading matter of choice, en route to Punta Cana). She smirked at me from her corner perch, and justifiably so—as she was the host of the soiree that page was dedicated to.

The event was featured on one of those fun party pages, with lots of pictures and quotes courtesy of the highest-profile celebs in attendance. Most likely I would have stopped and read this page regardless of what the event was about or whose face was at the top of the page, but the headline “Eco Mom Alliance charity event…” especially caught my eye.

At that point I wasn’t quite sure what an “eco mom” was (although I could make some educated guesses), but I was proud to see that Jenn-ay was so involved. (Or, at least involved enough to let the organization publicize that “she” was “hosting.”) Luckily for me, In Style magazine had a preemptive star-burst that held the key to all of my questions: “For more information, go to ecomom.com”

The Eco Mom Alliance was created with the idea in mind that throughout history, when a crisis occurred women have never been afraid to step up and do whatever needed to be done in order to protect their family. In light of current environmental issues happening across the world, it was decided that women needed to take collective action NOW in order to provide the best future possible for their immediate families and children everywhere. With her childrens’ future in mind, Robin Wright Penn looked at the current situation in much the same way I do, “I get way too overwhelmed if I focus on the larger global picture. But as a mom, I can do these small things and know I’m doing something positive and protective.” I’m not a mom (yet), but I whole-heartedly agree that making a bunch of little changes can add up, and especially like the idea of wanting to do something instead of feeling helpless and doing nothing.

Through the Eco Mom website, there are different points of interest for all sorts of moms, from coupons for organic products, "green" shopping tips, to charity sites in place to offer help to problems worldwide, and instructional videos where Robin Wright Penn herself demonstrates proper composting methods.

Props to Robin Wright Penn (and her publicist) for riding high through the scandals, maintaining her dignity, and re-emerging with such positivity on to greener pastures...

The dark side to online shopping

A few years ago when I was working on creating new advertising ideas for Comcast, I had my heart set on a whole “green” themed campaign. I was so psyched for it, and although I now forget whatever witty headlines I had came up, the gist of the campaign would be that with Comcast’s services, a family could live a full life without necessarily leaving their house, thereby drastically cutting back their gas usage and CO2 emissions caused from driving all over.

My reasoning was that with the fancy cable package du jour, you could have all sorts of unique experiences in the comfort of your own living room. The phone package would enable you to “visit” with friends and family across the country whenever you wanted, and the Internet connection (amongst other benefits) could allow you to shop away to your heart’s content while remaining in your pj’s and avoiding all annoying sales associates. To me, the idea that individual people could significantly reduce their carbon foot-print by cutting back on their amount of required driving was crux to helping better the environment. Every little bit does help, but oh, how naïve I was…

True—a phone call to California is less demanding on all resources than a plan ride there, and a Miley concert viewed OnDemand is easier to palate than a real life concert (kids are happy, parents can avoid tween nightmares by secluding themselves in another room), but through further consideration it became clear to me that online shopping is absolutely no gift to the environment.

It made me feel a little bit better to know that I was not the only one previously duped by the “green” online shopping mirage. "Consumers aren't used to thinking about e-commerce having any environmental impact," H. Scott Matthews, the research director of Carnegie Mellon's Green Design Initiative says. "When people buy things online, they're not necessarily thinking about what's happening; it's almost like the item is being teleported from the warehouse to their doorstep. The fact that you aren't going to the store doesn't mean there's no environmental impact. In some cases, it's much worse."

The dark side of online shopping was recently rubbed in my face so painfully it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

A few months ago, it was decided that my sister was going to have a summer destination wedding. In preparation, she went hog-wild buying bikinis for her honeymoon online at Victoria’s Secret. Since bathing suits are tricky when it comes to fit, her plan of attack was to just buy every bathing suit that she liked-- and then send back whatever didn't fit.

Once the order was placed, (some $700 later,) she began receiving notifications that some of the pieces were back-ordered and wouldn’t come for another few weeks. Since the wedding was months away at that point, a few weeks didn’t matter to her and she didn’t really think anything more of it.

Until... the packages started arriving. At first it was exciting to get packages, a top one day, a pair of bottoms two days later. However, the excitement quickly transitioned into annoyance when it became obvious that her order had been splintered up into oblivion, with the poor UPS man being forced to make unknown amounts of trips down our driveway to drop off her bikini bits and pieces.

A month later, she is still receiving forgotten parcels here and there.

The inefficiency and waste that occurred with this drove me nuts, and made me start to think about online shopping in a much grander scheme. Things that we buy do not just magically appear at our doors-- a lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that we don’t even know or think about, which are in turn responsible for creating a ton of waste and pollution. Maybe shopping at a brick and mortar store is better?

The alleged beauty of online shopping, from an environmental perspective, is that it is supposed to be super efficient. Instead of separate cars driving back and forth to do individual household shopping, one UPS truck with a well-planned delivery schedule can drop off dozens of packages along its one daily route. Obviously, if deliveries go according to this plan a lot of things are happily reduced; like fuel, time, and pollution. Unfortunately, life is not like a delivery van, and does not always follow its desired course-- as witnessed with my sister and her 1 order that came in 20 separate pieces.

In addition to the pollution created by all modes of shipping transportation, (and I’m not even going to fully delve into the effects of airplane pollution, as there are so many variables to consider, but for brevity’s sake-- the pollution caused by airplanes for shipping purposes totally negates any environmental good the most perfect of perfect perfect delivery van system might produce.) there is also the waste that is produced from the accumulated packaging materials that are required for shipping. The added weight of the packaging adds up, and thus requires inflated gas needs for transportation, in order to ultimately end up in a trash-can after reaching its final destination. In the end, my sister could have covered more of her body with Victoria Secret packaging than Victoria Secret swim-wear.

Obviously, this entire online shopping ordeal would be a lot better if everything had come all at once—one trip to our house, one box for everything. However, considering the diaspora of a delivery situation that arose, Mother Nature would have been far better off had my sister just gone to the good old fashioned mall.

In an ideal world, online shopping, where one person essentially delivers the goods, is better than droves of people driving all around. In a realistic world, buying in bulk, walking (if you can), and carrying reusable bags are all good ways to green up your shopping. Save the online shopping for the really important things in life, like killer Jimmy Choos on eBay.

BJ’s: the source for loads so big, it’s hard to swallow

Always in the mood for BJs

Whenever I find myself with some time to kill, whether (weather?) it be a rainy evening, or a fun day Sunday, my go-to easiest, most satisfying, green option is always the same: BJ’s.

Hold on though (perv)-- before your questionable thought process goes down (no pun intended) the that's-what-she-said path (it's a slippery slope, I know), I'm not talking about Bill Clinton’s favorite past-time. Instead, when I say whole-heartedly that I LOVE BJ’s, I am referring to the bulk warehouse wonderstore that is BJ's Wholesale.

If you have not heard of BJ's, perhaps you've heard of Costco? If you have not heard of either, perhaps you have been living under a rock? BJ's and Costco are stores that, for a low yearly membership fee, sell bulk amounts of your favorite every day necessities. Basically, and I am not exaggerating—if you can think it, they probably sell it; in bulk, and cheap. (Prescription druges, fresh and frozen foods, DVDs, cards, pet supplies, electronics, Fendi purses, engagement rings... you name it.) Think CVS meets Superfresh meets Best Buy meets eBay, supersized and with an order of fries. That's BJ's.

BJs? That’s my favorite!

BJ's has been a wonder to me ever since my first trip there about four years ago. I was just a young, impressionable twenty year old, and the large warehouse seemed like some sort of playground with its vast aisles stacked to the soaring ceiling with oversized items.

BJs Expert

During my most recent trip, I stocked up on a two month's supply of toothpaste, deodorant (even though I naturally smell like roses), face soap, razor blades, kitty litter and kitty food (hey, times are rough), cereal, frozen vegetables and chicken, and a handful of delicious perishable foods including peppers, spinach, milk, deli meats and sushi. (I even found three simple white tank tops for $10!) With my over-sized shopping cart all but over-flowing with newly bought goodies, the total on my receipt came to a cool $90. I love things that are great, I love things that are buys, and this is one reason I love BJ's; as it combines two of my most favorite things with innumerable great buys.

Get a load of from BJ’s

Buying your usual household necessities at stores like BJ’s has many redeeming green qualities. For starters, stocking up on the things you need saves you numerous trips to the store, which will add up to a lot of conserved gas and time. And, since you know there are certain things you'll always need -- laundry detergent, shampoo and conditioner, paper towels, lotion, you get the drift-- you can't really have too much of these things around since they don't tend to go bad. In one trip to BJ's you can buy a bottle of shampoo big enough for Paul Bunyon (and his Babe, too) that will last throughout the sweaty lumberjacking summer months!

Another way BJ's shows their green side is by disposing of the idea of using plastic bags. (Just think of how wasteful it would be to bag each oversized item in an equally oversized plastic bag!) They simply load up your cart without the earth un-friendly plastic bags and send you on your merry (fully stocked) way.

BJ's has been making even more efforts to be eco-friendly and energy efficient. You might ask, "what about all the cardboard from the packaging, and all the cardboard they use to box the products in the warehouse?" They recycle it! BJ's website explains how the company recycles a huge portion of the cardboard used in the warehouse, along with reducing the lighting in the warehouse up to as much as 50% in the summer, and they are even switching to LED lights in some areas of the stores. The company is even tapping into natural energy by installing solar panels on the roofs of some of their warehouses and using skylights to decrease the need for in-store lighting.

Are you as in love with BJ's as I am, yet?!

I mean, who doesn't like getting more for less? While saving money and gas? Not to mention that shopping is always fun, and, if you're like me and don't mind letting loose sometimes, careening down aisles of economy-sized products with both feet on your shopping cart is an added bonus. (Weeee!)

So anyway, now you know why I love BJs so much. If you get a chance, please feel free to share with my neighbors? (They always give me funny looks when I’m done screaming this sentiment off the rooftop of my building after a particularly successful shopping trip. Right, like I’m the weird one?)

GreEn-bay

eBay's all about the green: http://www.ebaygreenteam.com/

Something Blue, Something Old Becomes Something New

A recent Monday night was spent in a terrifying chaotic haze of mirrors, pastel satins, and opinions as my sister forced us to visit a bridal chain store and begin the harrowing experience that is bridesmaid dress shopping. (As if Monday’s could get any worse?)

Ever since then, she has been mildly harassing me to tackle the topic of additional uses for bridesmaid dresses, which I suspect she wants me to do in order to alleviate her guilt for making us buy the damn things. While every bride (that I’ve been exposed to) loves to tout the notion that the bridesmaid dresses they picked can totally be worn again…in reality, it’s always a lie.

As cute as the bride might think their puffy pastel dresses may be, after the wedding those things are relegated to the very back of one’s closet. If you’ve ever seen the movie “27 Dresses” and saw the huge closet that was bursting forth with colorful silks, taffetas and puff sleeves, you have an idea of the amount of money and material that is used for a one-time wearing. It seems like such a waste—fine, you have to succumb to the uniform the bride has selected, but then after that one day the dress no longer has any purpose. The concept of so much waste drives me nuts.

Luckily, some crafty entrepreneurs have seen a niche opening up in this department, and have taken the iniative to take advantage of it. Inspired by the resourcefulness of people during the Great Depression— a time when women would recycle the material from men’s jackets and coats, and unravel sweaters to reuse the yarn in order to make something else— Handcut is a clothing line that is made of all repurposed materials, from factory fabric remnants, to old clothing and bed-linens, to army tarpaulins, and even the leather from the seats of an old Cadillac, any material is game for owner Tanya Greenwood’s creations.

The rise of eco-conscious fashion has led designers to seek clothing solutions in organic and sustainable fabrics, with one possible material source having been located in a very unlikely place for fashion— the trash can. The recycled materials are obtained through many less-than-glamorous sources, and after a piece has been selected for use, the only test is has to go though is withstand an industrial washing. "If the clothes survive that," Tanya says, "they'll survive anything."

From the rescued fabrics, new life is born. There are trench coats patchworked together from old safari suits, jackets from vintage corduroy and panelled denim skirts that are made from at least three pairs of jeans. These mixed-up designer clothes are known as "refashioned originals" — which is a nice way of saying they are made from materials previously considered to be trash. “At least 98 per cent of the fabric in the shop would have ended up [in a landfill.]” Tanya has said.

“By recreating these fashion items, we are saving the environment by recycling some of the world’s best fabrics. We think our fashion items are unique and they also look great.”

She is whimsical about the history on her clothing racks. "I like to wonder what sort of bloke wore this before," she says, holding a jacket with shimmering sleeves. "He must have been so cool with his gold jacket on."

Additional ethical accessories that are available include beads from recycled resin, bangle bracelets made out of old knitting needles, and coming soon: shoes made from "e-leather",a British innovation that uses remnants from leather tanneries.

Tanya, if you're reading this— please feel free to get in touch with me. Come early August, I’ll have an “in” on a ton of gently used turquoise satin…

It's what on the inside that crunches

We were recently privileged enough to be invited to this baby's Super Sweet "First" Birthday Bash. When we arrived, (after we were carded and checked off on the guest list, obvs) we were greeted by the birthday girl, who was all decked out in a "special", yet preppy, pink plaid Burberry jumper, with patent leather black Tod's driving moccs. Her ruffled bloomers completed the outfit, with her initials sewn onto the bottom, surrounded by lacy ruffles and flounces.

After having cake and a few temper tantrums, the present opening began. As each gift was unwrapped and revealed, each audience member/guest “oohed” and “ahhed” appropriately.

· Some sort of baby-grand (get it?) electric piano that could make every noise imagineable: "Ooooooooh!!!!" we all murmured, a combination of admiration and perhaps jealousy?

· A new Juicy dress with matching leggings. The chorus all went “Ahhhhhhh!” while her mother chirped something like, “Mommy has this outfit in black!”

· A huge stuffed animal that was three times the size of the birthday girl, with each extremity doubling as a toy; a rattle for a hand, a foot that was a mirror and squeaked…. “Oooooohhh!”

And so on and so on it went for the afternoon.

Once every package and parcel had been opened, the baby had a pile of brand-new fancy toys. Every gift had been hand-picked from upscale boutiques, as to what would best be suited for an one year old with discerning tastes, and equally discerning parents. Despite having half the large room taken up by her bounty of things that sparkled and shined, squeaked and squalled, the thing that had enraptured her mind and heart the most was the also sizable pile of discarded wrapping paper in the corner. Who needs Tiffany’s baubles and Baby Einstein when you can rip noisy things up with wanton abandon?*

It’s easy to forget that if you have simple tastes, you are satisfied with simple things.

Kids are as happy with wrapping paper and big empty boxes as they are with the things that came inside those entrapments. Remember how fun a big empty box was when you were a kid? Who needed fancy toys when you had a big box, an imagination, and siblings that would go along with whatever?

"Welcome to my penthouse. Would you care to nibble some bits with me, you sweet, sweet Webkin...?"
My sister has a chinchilla, and it’s like crack for her- she can’t help but to spend every penny she has on toys and luxurious accommodations for the fat rodent’s cage. (And also, she sniffs it, a lot.)

Seriously though, this thing has it’s own bathroom, tropical inspired hammocks, custom made lofts, a thatch-roofed bungalow, island scenery (to remind it of home?), and gourmet treats hand-fed to it daily… Basically, it’s 6 ft. tall cage is nicer than the Playboy Suite in Vegas. (And yes, just like Vegas, the chinchilla’s cage comes complete with its very own legalized sex trade. While it’s not the use my sister had originally intended for the little stuffed animals that she populated the cage with, she unintentionally became the john of the chinchilla cage. With her weekly rotation of characters, neither the toys nor the chinchilla, nor my sister [who can sleep better when the rodent’s quiet after tiring himself out,] seem to be complaining about the wanton acts of abandon happening in that faux-tropical hideaway…)

And yet, despite all of it’s rodenty accommodations, it’s favorite plaything is the cardboard roll that makes up the center of a paper towel or toilet paper roll. Indeed, he seems to get more pleasure playing with these, than from all of his Furries action combined.

This is why when I went over to my friend’s house the other night; I got really excited and inspired by something I saw in her bed that I thought was ingeniously green. (Ingreenious?)

Scared? (If you knew this friend-- and what could have been in her bed, you probably would be...)

I innocently picked up the little felt cow that lay there, and remarked on how cute it was. Her lab puppy bouncing at my feet trying to grab for it, seemed to obviously agree with me. I felt that there was something hard inside of it, and before I could start to get weirded about what exactly I was holding, my friend gave me the inside scoop. Literally.

You know how you can buy your dog everything in the pet store, and yet when you’re at home, he’s happier drinking water from the toilet bowl, playing with the stuff he can get out of the trashcan, eating poop instead of treats, and falling asleep anywhere? Another case of simple things for simple tastes....

K.I.S.S!
A bunch of genius (possibly dog whispering?) companies have taken note of what of their dogs are telling them, and have accommodated their trashy habits to make them safer, healthier, cleaner and greener.

The cow in my hand was basically a fancy cover for an empty plastic water bottle. I have known many a dog that loved chewing on empty, plastic water bottles (as they are apparently oh-so-fun to crunch on and destroy) and now--they can do just that, while leaving the plastic pieces all confined inside the animal cover, so the dogs cannot make a mess, or hurt themselves --and once the bottle has been sufficiently killed, it is replaceable! And recyclable! Woo hoo!

These bottle covers are available under a few different monikers, some are called "Bottle Crunchers", some are called "Bottle Buddies." They can be found in any pet store, and are available in a ton of places online. They are inexpensive, and can keep a dog satisfied, over and over. (Sort of like stuffed animals for a Chinchilla, in an equally "ew, I don't want to touch that" when they're done with it, kind of way.)

The moral of the stories is that happiness can easily be found in the most mundane of objects, and we shouldn't try so hard, or spend so much, on unnecessary acquirements.

On the plus side--now I know what to get my mother for Mother's Day. (Note to self: start saving those empty toilet paper rolls, now.)

*This was a very important day all around, as we all were reminded of something very important. Her 3-year old brother solemnly informed us that his baby sister DID NOT like it when you smacked her really hard, on the top of her head. Why? Duh! a.) It was not nice, and b.) Her head was still soft.

Does this technically make me a "womanizer"?

I wonder what it’s like, to be relatively anonymous, and yet have so many people obsessed with you? Like, you’re famous, but the average Joanna Shmoanna on the street couldn’t identify you if she fell over you, and was head-to-toe wearing your creations?

It’s hard to imagine the thoughts that must go through my #1 gal’s mind. She can walk down her NYC streets, eat in the hot restaurants, go through an airport- and those pesky US weekly photogs and paparazzis leave her alone. She sees everyone wearing her clothes, and yet the paps don't see her.

Unfortunately- for me at least- I have yet to see her in the pages of US Weekly… (Maybe if she didn’t wear underwear, was in a tumultuous relationship with Lindsey Lohan, or hung out with Brit Brit we’d be more likely to see her?) And, as much as I personally would love more glimpses into her daily life, (even if it was only to see what she was wearing day-to-day, but god, does this make me a stalker?!) if she was always hanging out at Tao with Paris and K-Fed, and ergo plastered all over the daily mags, she just wouldn’t really be HER, would she?

Maybe she can go the route of Michael Kors, and star in an awesome Bravo reality show that would air in between seasons of "Rachel Zoe" and "Millionaire Matchmaker"? (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

When I reveal her name though, it might be an anticlimactic moment for you.

“Who?” you may say. (Unless you’re in the fashion industry, in which case you probably have heard of her, as due to the millions of interviews and features written on her, it seems her notoriety and reputation precede her.)

My sister’s been bugging me for days, and at the climax of this, she too will be like, “ummm, from everything you say, she sounds like she's pretty cool… but who the h. is she?!”

Despite her relative anonymity, it’s highly likely that you all have at least one piece of her handiwork in your home at this very moment. Maybe even on your body? (I know I do!) Her genius has spread out, to encompass the perfect something for everyone in your social spectrum- from your favorite male, your nieces and nephews, your spoiled pooch, all the way back to yourself.

Drum roll please…. I am proud to at last annouce, that:

Kelly Green ♥’s Jenna Lyons! (aka, the Creative Director of J.Crew)
Admit it- J.Crew has done a massive 180, and now it is not only expanding- but getting better and better at every point along it's rise. (My nerdy love of word play and punnery is driving me to point out that the fancy dud's that Jenna creates and we all don, are the opposite of "duds". Ha ha?)

In list form, here are but a few of Jenna's most notable, recent contributions to J.Crew:

1. Wedding gowns and CUTE bridesmaid dresses. With my sister’s impending wedding on the horizon, um, I’m actually looking forward to bridesmaid dress shopping? (Never thought I’d be able to say that…) And, although I’m far away from wedding gown shopping myself, I will certainly keep in the back of my mind that J.Crew’s wedding dresses are made out of the same Italian Clerici duchesse satins that Vera Wang and Chanel use for their $$$ dresses.


2. Adorable childrens’ clothing that makes me either a.) wish I was still 12 years old and 4’2” so I could wear the line myslef, or b.) start popping out some babies of my own, immediately, just to play dress-up with.


3. Decadent, vintage inspired jewels and baubles. J.Crew’s jewelry line has proven to be extremely well-received by the it's adoring public, and profitable to it's nurturing parent company. By all means, check out their "jewelry" section on the website, and tell me that with their current creations you can really say you’re surprised?


4. Beautiful, “designer” quality, jeweled and embellished shoes. J.Crew makes their shoes in the same exact factories as does Gucci and Prada. Because J.Crew acts as both the designer, and the retailer, they have effectively cut out the “middle man,” and the consumer is able to reap the benefit of uber-quality shoes in significantly lower-than-Prada prices.

Really, I could go on and on, but as I’m trying to down-play my stalking here,(and reduce the risk of future restraining orders) I’ll leave you with just that short (and yet highly impressive) list of Jenna Lyons accomplishments.

☺

And, with that long lead-in, my next entry will feature my spin on where me and the environment come in.

"I'm not a smug twat."

A "double fister" would be an accurate term to identify me were you to see me out shopping.

In my one hand will always reside my goes-with-everything, holds-everything, can't-live-without, cherished pink Balenciaga Motorcycle bag. In the other hand is my $.99 Trader Joe's canvas reusable shopping bag. The dichotomy is not lost on me.

The Trader Joe's bag was initially purchased for food shopping, it's amazing how much can fit in those bags! And, the handles never break! And, if something icky spills or leaks, you can wash the thing! But, at this point my adderall has worn off, and due to my ADD I find myself totally digressing from the point...

Unless you've been living under a rock, (or like me, trying to focus more on the new US Weekly instead of the depressing news) you've most likey been exposed to the glut of recent media describing the cons of plastic bags. They use tons of precious resources to make, are used once, and then sit and rot for thousands of years in land-fills if they were fortunate enough to land in the trash. Otherwise, they sit and rot for thousands of years in the ocean, in the park, in your backyard, under your sink, etc. Considering that the average American individual goes through 500 of these bags a year, it's crazy to think about the astronomical amount of land-fill filler, litter making, resource sucking that we are unknowingly creating everytime we run to the store to get something.

Luckily, the expansion of my thinking lead to the expansion of my trusty Trader Joe's bag's uses. Like a puppy that needs to be socialized, I tuck it in my purse and try to bring it with me everywhere. I really don't care if I'm at Bloomingdales or CVS, I have no problem telling the sales clerk that I don't need no stinkin' shopping bag, and then into my little sack the purchased goods proudly go.

Don't get me wrong, if these bags were comparable to beauty pageant contestants in the Swim Suit portion of the competition, my Balenciaga would kick Trader Joe's ass. Aesthetically, the Trader Joe's bag is downright ugly. But, it has a grrreat personality. And would dominate in the interview portion. Dependable, sensible, versatile, practical, economical, and environmental, this bag's got the whole package. (Depending on the item, it literally does have the whole package, too.)

The hardest part for me, really, is just remembering to bring it back into the car once I've unloaded it at home. The hardest part for you, really, should be picking out a cuter one then mine now that there are so many available options.

I feel like it's almost outdated to bring up at this point, (and certainly decreases my street creds to mention) as it's already been reproduced about a million times, and been photographed on the arm of countless young Hollywood do-gooders; and yet I think Anya Hindamarch's $75 canvas "Not a Plastic Bag" bag was an inadvertantly awesome PR move that launched countless imitators and a great, actually beneficial trend. If seeing Keira, Ivanka, or Petra carrying the bag inspires girls to go Reusable, then so be it.

This version amuses me, and may amuse you as well if you're as cheeky as the British designer Marissa Vandersee who satired Anya's "It"ness:

Juicy Couture's take is the bomb, and if that shit isn't already copyrighted, the heart/recycle logo will soon be all over this website. Biatch.

This one by Beau Soleil is just chic, clean, and simple, yet clearly gets your message across:

Both of these available through Pulsestl.com, for some reason the "Green is the new Black" really appeals to "The Hills" loving part of me, and I feel like a "Team Green" bag has to be right around the corner...? As for the second bag- I just really heart hearts. ♥

Much more then just a fashion statement, interestingly enough in Malibu, as of May 12, 2008, plastic and biodegradable shopping bags were actually legally outlawed. Both types of shopping bags proved to be too destructive to the surrounding marine life. Now, residents are forced to find and use some sort of reusable bag.

When this law hopefully gains fire and spreads across the country, hopefully you are an already prepared and practicing citizen. If not, the good news is that there will probably be even more options for you to choose from then.