Tabloid fodder food for thought: some of Drew Barrymore’s green tendencies

My sister has a problem. She is majorly addicted to the weekly celebretard-filled tabloids, and cannot get enough Kristen & Rob, Brad & Angie, Jennifer Anniston & _ (insert that week’s dude here)__, Britney Spears, John & Kate + 8 + Ed Hardy, eating disorders, drug problems, infidelity, etc, etc. (Judging by the list I was just able to ramble off in .2 seconds, it seems like her problem is contagious and spreading.) Like with all addictions, she wastes countless fortunes to satisfy her cravings—I think a year’s subscription to US Weekly alone is around $150, and she has subscriptions to ALL of them.

On the bright side, she knows a lot of pop-culture shit.

On the even brighter side, she recycles. Her version of the 3 “Rs” when it comes to tabloids is as follows:

Reduce: When she’s finished reading them, she gathers them all up to reduce the massive amount of clutter she would have otherwise.
Reuse: Once gathered, she hands them all over to me. This eases her conscious a bit, in that she rationalizes that the money was better spent if multiple people get to benefit reading that week’s gossip.
Recycle: After the magazines are in my possession, she knows I’ll make sure they get disposed of properly and responsibly. So although she’s the one doling out the green... I’m the one that keeps it green.

Due to the constantly fluctuating pile of mags sitting on the chest at the foot of my bed, I always have mindless reading material on hand, which makes my daily hour long train rides back and forth to work much more palatable. It was during one of these trips that I was reading an OK Magazine (major headline was about how Angie wasn’t attracted to Brad anymore because he gained 10 pounds. Good thing I was sitting down when I read that mind-blower.) when I feasted my eyes on a juicy page filled with Kelly Green appropriate tid-bits: insight into Drew Barrymore’s life pertaining to green doggies and shopping. W00t w00t!!

Although more expensive than the $3 reusable shopping bags you can pick up at the grocery store, the proceeds from the sale of Drew’s favorite $195 beaded burlap “Feed” Masai fabric bag will actually provide enough money to feed two Kenyan school children for an entire year, through the United Nation World Feed Program. Talk about guilt-free shopping…

Drew loves dogs, and ironically—spoils her dogs rotten, healthily. Her yellow lab-chow mix Flossie loves the organic, all-natural Halo Liv-a-Littles. They have no chemicals, no preservatives or artificial flavors, and come in pink packaging. (Wonder if I’m good, if my dog would share these with me?) A lot less expensive than the “Feed” bag, these treats can be purchased for $5 at most pet stores and high-end grocery stores around you. (If you were wondering, Flossie prefers the chicken and cheese variety.)

Stay tuned, more green news inspired from trashy gossip coming your way…

Properly disposing evidence of eating out(side)

The other night was one those idyllic beautiful summer evenings; it was just the right amount of warm outside (not too hot or humid) with a deliciously teasing breeze that kept the bugs away while at the same time soothing our sun-kissed skin. To make the most of these advantageous circumstance, the fam decided to barbecue and eat outdoors. Some extra people were joining our usual group of seven, and while setting the pleasantly crowded table it was noted that there were not enough clean plates to set a place for everyone.

“So what?” my sister said. “Let’s just use plastic, and then we can just throw ‘em out when we’re done with ‘em, and have less clean-up.”

The eco-alarms in my brain started going off at full-intensity.

*****UNECESSARY*WASTE*ABOUT*TO*OCCUR*******

I started to say something in protest, and my sister, picking up on my obviously agitated body language, was quick to point out—“Kelly, they’ve already been purchased. We already have them. They’re going to get used at some point… might as well be tonight.”

My mother punctuated my sister’s statement with a look that said the argument, if it can even be called that, considering zero words left my mouth, was settled. (Apparently my family is really into non-verbal communication? At least they use something sparingly.)

Standing exactly where I was when I first caught wind of this convo, a mental montage of the future the plastic plates were going to face flashed behind my eyelids. Mental images of tons of pink plastic plates, with gobs of potato salad and baked beans still clinging to their shiny surfaces, getting shoved into a trash bag, which would eventually go and find its way to a landfill, and then sit decomposing for the next thousand years or so, all the while leaching toxins galore, and occupying precious landfill real-estate so that another one would have to created that much sooner… ugh.

This lead me down a slippery mental slope, because if my family –with an outspoken environmental police-officer on the premises (me!)—was guilty of going the easy and wasteful route when it came to outdoor dining, it hurt to think about how many other people were doing the exact same thing, and how much wasted waste was being created. The thought process was scaring me more than this place.

As I sat at the table and proudly ate off my china plate (only plastic for this girl is an AmEx), I sadly tried to trouble-shoot the scenario, and figure out alternative, more eco-viable solutions, before it dawned on me: there already are freaking tons of better options in place for these sorts of scenarios.

1. Paper plates. Hello Green family! *News Flash* These are probably cheaper than plastic, and won’t irk me (or Mother Nature) nearly as much due their organic origins and quicker disintegration time.

2. Reusable plastic plates. Also super cheap, and available at every retail vendor imaginable during the summer months. (Seriously, you don’t just have to go to a place that would generally sell table-ware, over the summer you can find cheap plastic plates at hardware stores, drugstores, supermarkets, Victoria’s Secret*… ) For example, Walmart is currently selling a 38 piece dishwasher safe set for $19, which breaks down to 50 cents apiece-- for dinnerware you can use over and over indefinitely.

3. Regular plates. I mean, when did the old fashioned, rustic activity of grilling meat become so fancy so as to require its own set of dinnerware? A table outdoors that was set the same way as it would be indoors would be visually pleasing, while leading to no unnecessary waste, saving money by not purchasing alternate plates, and helping to keep an American past-time in its proper pure perspective.

4. The combination of 1,2, and 3 in one plate: OneHundredDegree’s reusable plastic plates that look like the throw-away paper variety. Not the cheapest route to go ($16 for set of 4), but they are cute, kitschy, and eco-tastic. These plates look like ye olde picnic paper plates we fondly recall from our childhoods—but, surprise! They’re really sturdy melamine in disguise! Machine washable, long-lasting, and outdoor eating inspired, these also fit the bill for replacing throw-away plastic plates.

In defense of my sister, she was right—the plastic plates in our house had obviously already been purchased, and were bound to be used at some point. The mistake occurred long ago, wherever and whenever the original point of purchase transpired. After sitting down and reviewing these fool-proof alternatives with her, hopefully my family (and yours too!) will not make such a silly dinner blunder again.


*Just kidding with this one, although they don’t sell plates, you can absolutely go here to purchase as many plasticized cups as you want. (Get it? You know how you can tell when a joke’s funny? When you have to use asterisks and parentheses to explain how funny it is.)

Living Proof: Dirty Hair Can Be Pretty Hair

Ursula was born in Brazil, and ever since we met in the 7th grade she has always been one of those effortlessly sophisticated and chic girls that you secretly want to be like/hate, except she is far too charming to ever be able to dislike.

Ursula is now in her early twenties, and flits all around Europe depending on wherever the breeze (or her job) takes her. Over Christmas, she managed to squeeze in a quick stop at home, and came over for a visit.
She breezed into the family room with a waft of good smells. We were all wearing sweats and engrossed in Guitar Hero, no doubt making fools of ourselves, while she looked casually gorgeous as usual, with her skin all aglow and her hair shinier than ever. *

In conversation, she mentioned in passing that she had just been to the gym for a Bikram yoga class with her mom, and had taken the world’s fastest shower afterwards in order to make it over to us at a decent time. The Nancy Drew in me perked up immediately at hearing this, and the subtle interrogation began – the recent bout of yoga in hell (Bikram yoga is usually an hour and half long, in a room purposely kept at 104˚F with 40% humidity!!! So that) explained her flush, but if she had just taken a shower, how was her super long, thick hair already dried?? Had she learned some new hair magic from the Chinese mystics during her airport wanderings? Did she discover a real-life genie bottle in the Alps? How did she achieve this amazing feat? (This really is a big deal to me, because I have really curly hair that I constantly am at war with in order to achieve some semblance of a look I’d want, and anyone with hair as perfect as hers must be involved in some sort of dark arts. Right?)

As Nancy Drew would have expected though, Ursula’s answer was the easy one and not the one that included hair magic. (Drats!) It turned out that yes, she had taken a shower-- but she didn’t wash her hair! Apparently, her Parisian hair stylist had advised her to be like all the other European girls, and only wash her hair once or twice a week-- as it’s much healthier for your hair. (She told him to shove it when he started dispensing his underarm shaving advice though. Mon dieu! She doesn’t want that hair thick and silky, mercibeaucoup!) She went on to tell us that Americans’ overzealous personal hygiene is considered comical in Europe. Could this be true? Who knew dirty hair could look so good?

Zut alors!

Maybe it was a case of me hearing what I wanted to hear, because I hate showers? I know, I know, I hear it all the time, “That’s so crazy! Showers are so nice!” Um, no they’re not! They are time consuming clusterfucks, what with the washing, conditioning, exfoliating, dancing (it’s the only part that makes showering tolerable for me-- but it definitely tacks on the time in the shower, I mean, you can’t really expect me to turn off the water half-way through Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” dance, can you?), shaving, moisturizing, blow-drying, and everything else that goes into one’s grooming… UGH! It turns into a very time and energy consuming event, but maybe, hopefully, those feisty Europeans are on to something..?

Enter MIT’s foray into the world of hair products, with the introduction of their line “Living Proof.”

Determined to fight frizz from a scientific approach, an MIT scientist dissected and examined “frizz” to get to the Achilles heel of the foe and defeat it, as opposed to the current practice of coming up with products that help you live with it.

Getting right down to the nitty-gritty, they started working on ways to protect the hair follicle from being susceptible to moisture’s wily, invasive rapist ways. (If you know that frizz is caused by moisture, please skip to the next paragraph. If you’re one of those freakish/lucky girls that was born with naturally pin-straight hair, and has never had to worry about frizz before-- please read on, if you care to, for a quick crash course on frizz. “Frizz” is caused by moisture in the air-- aka humidity. Humidity affects hair in two primary ways: changing the surface texture of the hair fiber by making it rough and full of friction, and increasing absorption of water by the interior of the hair shaft. Or, in plainer English, the water gets all up inside the hair shaft despite the hair saying “No! No! I’m worth the wait!” and causes all sorts of complications resulting in the hair looking really bad and feeling both ashamed and used.)

Everyone loves before and afters!

In the past, hair companies were trying to fight the war on frizz by producing silicon based hair products as a way to tame the existing frizziness.

The brains at MIT weren’t interested in dealing with frizz period though, and went right to the root of the problem. To this end, they developed a brand new chemical that is similar to the Teflon coating used on cookware, but for your hair-- PolyfluoroEster (PFE) works by adhering tightly to the hair, and smoothing down the hair shaft to prevent moisture from being absorbed in the first place. There is a lot more scientific gobbledy gook involved, but basically the PFE chemicals in Living Proof’s hair products cut down on the surface tension on the hair, which provides some amazing benefits such as shinier, frizz-free hair, hair that is actually coated in a substance that acts as a repellent to dirt and oil, and the longer you use the stuff- the higher the PFE concentration is in your hair, so the shinier and silkier it gets!

Obviously, this sounds too good to be true, but don’t worry- before I brought the topic to your attention I did my due diligence and read the comments of people who have already bought and used these products. The line seemed to receive predominantly rave reviews.

What first caught my interest with “Living Proof” is that the Teflon-for-your-hair actually repels the nasty stuff that is naturally attracted to your hair; which means less washing needed! If your hair stays cleaner for longer, than the advantage’s to using Living Proof are as multi-layered as a "Rachel" cut:

• Obviously you’re giving yourself a self-esteem boost, because lord knows your hair is your best accessory-- and if your hair’s looking really good, chances are you’re feeling good!

• You’re also saving yourself tons of previous, priceless TIME by cutting down your needed showering and styling.

• If you’re washing your hair less-- you’re also significantly cutting down on your environmental “footprint,” as your average amount of water usage is slashed, and the electricity used for your blow-dryer (or any other styling tools) is likewise exponentially decreased!**

Intrigued? I am.

Want to try it now? I do! Check it out at Sephora.com.

Armed with these products (which come in really cute packaging, by the by)- we can now reap all of the benefits of the European girls' hair-washing habits, but maintain our “clean” American aesthetic. It’s Miley’s dream of combining “the best of both worlds…”

*The girl pictured is not Ursula-- but is actually actress Eliza Dushku, who is often styled by Living Proof And she's super hot. Correlation is obvious, no?

**I don’t know how Living Proof is manufactured, so I’ll feel like a bonafide jack-ass if after touting it’s “green” advantages I find out that 5 tons of nuclear waste is created with every 12 ounces of product made?

Watering Holes: 2009 Edition

It’s an awesome idea that immediately caught my eye in it’s little blurb in US Weekly; an eco-conscious, celeb inhabited, nightclub.

Ever since it’s opening this past November in New York's trendy Soho district, Greenhouse has become a popular hang-out spot for the likes of Leonardo and Beyonce.

And, who could blame them? The interiors at Greenhouse are GORGEOUS, the staff only wears designer organic uniforms made by Bono and his wife’s clothing line Enud, and as the head host explains, Greenhouse is a public relations wet dream. "There isn’t a person in Hollywood that doesn’t want to have a green image."

On point with current environmental concerns, the concept of introducing environmentally friendly methodology to the bar scene is growing in popularity across the globe; from the Temple Nightclub in San Francisco, to Surya in London, all the way to Watt in the Netherlands. Greenhouse differentiates itself by striving to achieve the hard to attain LEED certification, which is the official stamp of approval from the US Green Building Council and certifies that everything from building materials and garbage disposal, to energy and water usage, is regulated and reduced.

The architects and builders of Greenhouse took very creative and thoughtful approaches to meet the environmental guidelines; the walls are made of sustainable bamboo, and covered in varying types of real leaves. The bi-level, 6,000-square-foot space features high-efficiency heating, ventilation and air conditioning, all powered by wind-generated electricity. An LED lighting system is utilized, which uses just a little more than 3 percent of the energy that a standard lighting installation would require. The bathrooms feature waterless urinals and low-flow sinks, which save at least 15,000 gallons of water a year. All of the materials used to furnish the venue — from the synthetic couches to the coasters on the tables — are recycled or recyclable.

They offer organic fruit juices and liquors, with the drink of choice being an organic Vodka 360 which is made in a green distillery and served in a reusable, recycled bottle. (They offer regular labels too, so as to not “alienate” the average patron.)

In order to keep their LEED certification, a monthly analysis of water and energy consumption is mandatory in order to make sure that the building is performing as planned. And although Greenhouse cost about 40% more to build than an average nightclub would, the owner expects the built-in energy-efficient measures to pay for themselves within 10 years.

Environmentally centered nightclubs are predicted to be the wave of the future, with the owner of the San Francisco based Temple Nightclub already trying to team up with Greenhouse’s management in an attempt to establish future venues.

My suggestion- hook up with Steven Starr and bring one of these to Philadelphia. Please?

What is this "goop"?

It’s not jealousy speaking, I swear. Instead, it's really more of a mixture of head-shaking confusion and dismay. Granted, she is doing exactly what I want to do, but on a much larger scale. If I had Gwyneth’s assets, my lifestyle blog would definitely be as aesthetically pleasing as hers (if not better☺). At least, I’ll give her credit where it's due, her web-design team did an awesome job, and the site (appearance wise) is super cute.

It’s the content and concept though, behind Gwyenth Paltrow’s new lifestyle blog "GOOP" that leaves me head-scratching…

For instance, where did this name come from?

She named it “GOOP?” Are the 'G' and 'P' for her initials, and she just needed some letters to shove in between? “Gap” was obviously already taken, as were a bunch of other G&P combos, leaving “GOOP” as the only domain name available that fulfilled her stringent requirements?

What does the name “GOOP” mean?

If you heard that word as the title of a blog, what would you assume the site would be about? Bulk sales of the vintage slime left over from Nickelodeon, Ghostbusters movies, etc? Some weird new kids’ product trying to cash in on the popularity of strangely named things? (Worked for the “Wii”?) Glue porn? I’m really going out on a limb here trying to think of what “GOOP” would be a good title for… and really, I am struggling. Maybe an extension of Rachael Ray’s site, where she shared recipes for things you can make out of mashed up bugs? I would love to be privy to the rationale of the think-tank that came up with this title, and then I’d like to smack them.

What does the tag-line mean?

"Nourish the inner aspect." Trust me girrrl, if I knew what the heck my inner aspect was, I'd be feeding it! Mmmhmm!

I explored her site, hoping to stumble across some sort of mission statement, but was unable to find anything that satisfactorily explained what this site was about. What I did find though, was a link to “little black dresses” under her “GET” section. Intrigued, I checked it out and was rewarded with a scroll-down fashion show of Gwynnie looking all sorts of cute in outfits that revolve around little black dresses. I love this concept, and had fun looking at the outfits her stylists obviously put together for her. But, this was also when the serious eye-rolling began.

It’s great for someone who is considered a fashion icon (or, who at least considers themself to be a fashion icon) shares their fashion tips with the world. Advice on styling a bunch of different looks out of one article of clothing could be very helpful, especially when it's based on a piece most people already have hanging in their closets. Unless of course, the down-to-earth fashionista features clothing consisting of labels such as Balenciaga, Chanel, Gucci, YSL, and Christian Louboutin, and other haute-couture brands that are well beyond the average persons’ means of attaining.

In times of economic distress, it seems so wrong to advertise designer pieces that almost no one can afford. Manipulating people into wanting things that are way out of their price-ranges is partially what got us into this financial trouble to begin with. (And- do you think the people that can afford this stuff even give a moment’s thought about Gwyneth Paltrow’s lame web-site as a source of fashion ideas? Like, Olivia Palermo wakes up before work, and when she can’t figure out what to wear she’s thinks to herself, “Oh, I know! I’ll check out Gwyneth’s site and see what outfits she would think are cool!” Um, no chance.) This is really her advice for girls who want to live like her environmentally-conscious self?

To be fair, her reasons for why she wanted the site are sound. In her own words, “GOOP is a collection of experiences of what makes life good. My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and nice.”

Somewhere between her (alleged) web-site inspiration and her web-site actualization, things went horribly awry. Combining her celebrity and resources, she really does have an excellent opportunity to make a great web-site that can expose lots of people to good ways of living stylishly "green." If she wants "GOOP" to be anything more than a short-lived pop-culture joke reference, she needs to do 2 things (yes, I consider myself an expert now):

1. Get realistic about who her target audience is!
2. Be much more clear about why her site exists. What are her goals in having this site? What does she hope to accomplish with "GOOP" beyond making money and creating tons of GOOPy clones? (Ew.)

All I can say is- the way things are now, her road to hell is paved with "goop" intentions…