Best! Invention! Ever!

"We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to
survive." Albert Einstein

My grandfather was a patent attorney, and ever since I was a little girl I have strived to come up with awesome inventions to impress him. Fortunately, for all parties involved, my ideas at age 27 are a bit better than my fork/hair-tie hybrid inventions from days of yore...

In all honesty, I really cannot believe that what I’m about to reveal to you does not already exist. It seems akin to a Post-It like invention, in that it seems like such an obvious idea that I can’t believe no one has thought of it already? Despite my mother’s insistence that she saw a whole special about MY idea on the Discovery Channel the other night, I indignantly keep reminding myself that she is innately a major Debbie Downer, and since I can’t find any proof of the existence of this alleged Discovery Channel special, I am optimistically, systematically, and categorically ignoring her. (Just this one time, love you Mom!)

So, sorry for the long preamble, I’ll get to the invention unveiling now:

(Drum-roll, please)

Imagine… it’s the middle of August. One of those days when your steering wheel gets so hot it hurts to the touch, and just stepping outside into the heat sucks out every ounce of energy you may have had. Imagine, that despite this, you decided to go running.

And, you’re not just going for a “fun run” or a slow jog- you’re running fast.

And so are the other twenty people surrounding you.

And, because of this- you’re keeping cool the whole time.

What if, as you’re running on a treadmill, working that elliptical, or pedaling away on a stationary bike, the energy you were creating was being stored away to a battery connected to the exercise equipment? Technically, I don't know how exactly how it would work- but I know that it could. The same way that wind energy can be stored, or car companies store the energy created by the friction of braking tires, the energy created from spinning bike spokes and rotating treadmill belt has to be able to be bottled up. And these days, when it seems every alternate source of energy conceivable is being researched and developed, how have we looked past the most prevalent and renewable energy source right in front of our faces? How have we overlooked harnessing and storing human energy?

(I’m making these upcoming numbers up to explain my point, so please take all of these figures into consideration with a grain of salt- I am by no means a scientist.) For the sake of the discussion, let’s say that the energy a human could create by doing 3 miles at 6mph could power a house for a day, and take off $20 off that month’s electric bill. What if that person did 3 miles every day? What if there were 3 people in the house, and they each did 4 miles per day? If people could create their own energy, there would be so many obvious benefits. We could stop relying on expensive energy providers, start being more proactive about our lives, save money, and become physically healthier. The financial benefits of this, on top of the environmental benefits, on top of the physical benefits, make this such the win-win-win situation for everyone.

Wouldn’t it be great motivation to be at home watching Oprah, pedaling away on your stationary bike, and you know that if you could just push yourself to do one more mile, you’d be taking an extra $10 off your monthly power bill from the energy you were creating and storing?

And good lord- think about the potential of public gyms where people are exercising en masse 24/7!?

The Ballys gym that I go to has about 60 machines, and I’d guesstimate that at least 50% of them are being used at any given point over the course of their 14 hour business day, with the range of exercisers greatly varying. Like the tortoise and the hare, there are the marathoners who can go and pound out 9 miles in an hour, and on the other end of the spectrum there are the walkers and bikers who go slow and steady just to get in their recommended 30 minutes of physical activity. If all of that energy created by the running, and walking and biking (oh my) could be stored, the potential energy that a gym would be able to produce and store is unimaginable. (Imagine the environmental PR Britney could get: http://popsugar.com/1574532)

These gyms could have the AC pumping full power all day every day, and they still would never have to pay an electricity bill. In fact, the more energy they used to keep the place cool- the more the energy they would be able to create and regain by keeping the people as optimally comfortable as possible. Is the correct term “return and gain”?

Also- with the inherent value of energy, would gyms be able to create/store enough energy where they could turn around and sell it to other people? Could gyms become a new major power provider? Would the gym memberships of today become obliterated as gyms realized the benefit of paying people to work out at the gym instead of reaping the benefits for themselves at their own homes?

Seriously, does the idea to store the human energy created from exercise equipment really not already exist?

Whether it currently does or doesn’t - I feel like the technology to harness energy created from humans has to be right around the corner. So, despite the list of things that I am pointedly not (patent attorney, scientist, financier) I will still try and leave you with one sound investment tip: buy stock in battery companies. Lots of it.

[This guy agrees with me too, although his views are definitely a bit darker than mine- I hadn't even really considered the possibility of this technology being used for punishments and community service: http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/BOW3741/gs950802.html )