Properly disposing evidence of eating out(side)

The other night was one those idyllic beautiful summer evenings; it was just the right amount of warm outside (not too hot or humid) with a deliciously teasing breeze that kept the bugs away while at the same time soothing our sun-kissed skin. To make the most of these advantageous circumstance, the fam decided to barbecue and eat outdoors. Some extra people were joining our usual group of seven, and while setting the pleasantly crowded table it was noted that there were not enough clean plates to set a place for everyone.

“So what?” my sister said. “Let’s just use plastic, and then we can just throw ‘em out when we’re done with ‘em, and have less clean-up.”

The eco-alarms in my brain started going off at full-intensity.

*****UNECESSARY*WASTE*ABOUT*TO*OCCUR*******

I started to say something in protest, and my sister, picking up on my obviously agitated body language, was quick to point out—“Kelly, they’ve already been purchased. We already have them. They’re going to get used at some point… might as well be tonight.”

My mother punctuated my sister’s statement with a look that said the argument, if it can even be called that, considering zero words left my mouth, was settled. (Apparently my family is really into non-verbal communication? At least they use something sparingly.)

Standing exactly where I was when I first caught wind of this convo, a mental montage of the future the plastic plates were going to face flashed behind my eyelids. Mental images of tons of pink plastic plates, with gobs of potato salad and baked beans still clinging to their shiny surfaces, getting shoved into a trash bag, which would eventually go and find its way to a landfill, and then sit decomposing for the next thousand years or so, all the while leaching toxins galore, and occupying precious landfill real-estate so that another one would have to created that much sooner… ugh.

This lead me down a slippery mental slope, because if my family –with an outspoken environmental police-officer on the premises (me!)—was guilty of going the easy and wasteful route when it came to outdoor dining, it hurt to think about how many other people were doing the exact same thing, and how much wasted waste was being created. The thought process was scaring me more than this place.

As I sat at the table and proudly ate off my china plate (only plastic for this girl is an AmEx), I sadly tried to trouble-shoot the scenario, and figure out alternative, more eco-viable solutions, before it dawned on me: there already are freaking tons of better options in place for these sorts of scenarios.

1. Paper plates. Hello Green family! *News Flash* These are probably cheaper than plastic, and won’t irk me (or Mother Nature) nearly as much due their organic origins and quicker disintegration time.

2. Reusable plastic plates. Also super cheap, and available at every retail vendor imaginable during the summer months. (Seriously, you don’t just have to go to a place that would generally sell table-ware, over the summer you can find cheap plastic plates at hardware stores, drugstores, supermarkets, Victoria’s Secret*… ) For example, Walmart is currently selling a 38 piece dishwasher safe set for $19, which breaks down to 50 cents apiece-- for dinnerware you can use over and over indefinitely.

3. Regular plates. I mean, when did the old fashioned, rustic activity of grilling meat become so fancy so as to require its own set of dinnerware? A table outdoors that was set the same way as it would be indoors would be visually pleasing, while leading to no unnecessary waste, saving money by not purchasing alternate plates, and helping to keep an American past-time in its proper pure perspective.

4. The combination of 1,2, and 3 in one plate: OneHundredDegree’s reusable plastic plates that look like the throw-away paper variety. Not the cheapest route to go ($16 for set of 4), but they are cute, kitschy, and eco-tastic. These plates look like ye olde picnic paper plates we fondly recall from our childhoods—but, surprise! They’re really sturdy melamine in disguise! Machine washable, long-lasting, and outdoor eating inspired, these also fit the bill for replacing throw-away plastic plates.

In defense of my sister, she was right—the plastic plates in our house had obviously already been purchased, and were bound to be used at some point. The mistake occurred long ago, wherever and whenever the original point of purchase transpired. After sitting down and reviewing these fool-proof alternatives with her, hopefully my family (and yours too!) will not make such a silly dinner blunder again.


*Just kidding with this one, although they don’t sell plates, you can absolutely go here to purchase as many plasticized cups as you want. (Get it? You know how you can tell when a joke’s funny? When you have to use asterisks and parentheses to explain how funny it is.)