What is this "goop"?

It’s not jealousy speaking, I swear. Instead, it's really more of a mixture of head-shaking confusion and dismay. Granted, she is doing exactly what I want to do, but on a much larger scale. If I had Gwyneth’s assets, my lifestyle blog would definitely be as aesthetically pleasing as hers (if not better☺). At least, I’ll give her credit where it's due, her web-design team did an awesome job, and the site (appearance wise) is super cute.

It’s the content and concept though, behind Gwyenth Paltrow’s new lifestyle blog "GOOP" that leaves me head-scratching…

For instance, where did this name come from?

She named it “GOOP?” Are the 'G' and 'P' for her initials, and she just needed some letters to shove in between? “Gap” was obviously already taken, as were a bunch of other G&P combos, leaving “GOOP” as the only domain name available that fulfilled her stringent requirements?

What does the name “GOOP” mean?

If you heard that word as the title of a blog, what would you assume the site would be about? Bulk sales of the vintage slime left over from Nickelodeon, Ghostbusters movies, etc? Some weird new kids’ product trying to cash in on the popularity of strangely named things? (Worked for the “Wii”?) Glue porn? I’m really going out on a limb here trying to think of what “GOOP” would be a good title for… and really, I am struggling. Maybe an extension of Rachael Ray’s site, where she shared recipes for things you can make out of mashed up bugs? I would love to be privy to the rationale of the think-tank that came up with this title, and then I’d like to smack them.

What does the tag-line mean?

"Nourish the inner aspect." Trust me girrrl, if I knew what the heck my inner aspect was, I'd be feeding it! Mmmhmm!

I explored her site, hoping to stumble across some sort of mission statement, but was unable to find anything that satisfactorily explained what this site was about. What I did find though, was a link to “little black dresses” under her “GET” section. Intrigued, I checked it out and was rewarded with a scroll-down fashion show of Gwynnie looking all sorts of cute in outfits that revolve around little black dresses. I love this concept, and had fun looking at the outfits her stylists obviously put together for her. But, this was also when the serious eye-rolling began.

It’s great for someone who is considered a fashion icon (or, who at least considers themself to be a fashion icon) shares their fashion tips with the world. Advice on styling a bunch of different looks out of one article of clothing could be very helpful, especially when it's based on a piece most people already have hanging in their closets. Unless of course, the down-to-earth fashionista features clothing consisting of labels such as Balenciaga, Chanel, Gucci, YSL, and Christian Louboutin, and other haute-couture brands that are well beyond the average persons’ means of attaining.

In times of economic distress, it seems so wrong to advertise designer pieces that almost no one can afford. Manipulating people into wanting things that are way out of their price-ranges is partially what got us into this financial trouble to begin with. (And- do you think the people that can afford this stuff even give a moment’s thought about Gwyneth Paltrow’s lame web-site as a source of fashion ideas? Like, Olivia Palermo wakes up before work, and when she can’t figure out what to wear she’s thinks to herself, “Oh, I know! I’ll check out Gwyneth’s site and see what outfits she would think are cool!” Um, no chance.) This is really her advice for girls who want to live like her environmentally-conscious self?

To be fair, her reasons for why she wanted the site are sound. In her own words, “GOOP is a collection of experiences of what makes life good. My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and nice.”

Somewhere between her (alleged) web-site inspiration and her web-site actualization, things went horribly awry. Combining her celebrity and resources, she really does have an excellent opportunity to make a great web-site that can expose lots of people to good ways of living stylishly "green." If she wants "GOOP" to be anything more than a short-lived pop-culture joke reference, she needs to do 2 things (yes, I consider myself an expert now):

1. Get realistic about who her target audience is!
2. Be much more clear about why her site exists. What are her goals in having this site? What does she hope to accomplish with "GOOP" beyond making money and creating tons of GOOPy clones? (Ew.)

All I can say is- the way things are now, her road to hell is paved with "goop" intentions…